Speaking of disappointments, a quick Google image search reveals that Bob Nutting isn’t nearly the hunky adult entertainer his name would suggest, in that a) he’s not nearly hunky; and b) I hope to God there’s no....video...of him anywhere online. Or just anywhere.

“Hey, why the hell didn’t somebody check up on this Werder guy’s answers on this jury questionnaire?”

I can’t tell if that question means you’re too young to remember the Sears catalogue or too old to remember being a teenager, but either way, the answer is yes. If it’s a thing, you or someone else can masturbate to the thing.

That was my takeaway from Mindhunter. I suppose there is also something in there about obsessiveness, and the dark nature of humanity or something, but the most important thing was that he could do pretty much whatever he wants.

To add insult to injury, they included some kind of exclusive/expanded trailer in showings of Wing Commander, which was based on a game that I loved and genuinely wanted to see. This led to me getting shit-talked by the ticket-taker at the theater (“Here you go. Enjoy the trailer.” “I don’t care about that; I’m here…

I highly doubt it, although that would explain why all those Internet videos use “breeding” in the titl—oh, never mind.

19,000? There can’t be that many Southern Baptist pastors and Republican state senators in one town.

As an Ohio native who hasn’t lived there for over a decade, I’m always surprised when I see a story that reminds me that DeWine is still up there doing whatever it is he does. I know that there are Representatives and Senators who spend about 80 years in office, but every time I see his name it’s a) him in a…

So far as you know.

How that movie didn’t win Best Screenplay is beyond me. (I think it might have been nominated, though.)

I think about Jerry Lewis* in The King of Comedy, getting stopped by a woman who tells him what a big fan she is, thanking her, then having the same woman tell him she hopes he gets cancer because he won’t stop and talk to her sister on the phone. I know it’s an exaggeration, but I’ve seen too many comments over the…

He name-drops him, at least.

...or did look, then accepted his “Hey, it was consensual” defense, because you can’t expect a guy to be able to control himself, right?

so he’s got masturbation back on the table.

The main issue with Fahrenheit 9/11 was the same one I had with some of his other work—there comes a point that he tries to go for a rhetorical finisher, but misses because it just doesn’t make sense, even to someone like me who is very much a member of the choir to which he’s preaching. In Fahrenheit, it was “Look…

In the interest of precedent, see: Allen, W., and Polanski, R.

Good riddance. I’d hate to have someone with that obvious baggage sullying the good name of Texas high school football.

I can’t stop trying to figure it out—the bald parts still look like they have hair, and the parts with hair are as shiny as the rest.

Having taken more than a second to hit the gas when the light turns green once or twice in Boston, that seems accurate.

There were three “almost”s in that paragraph, and they’re all currently in the hospital with hernias.