More like pray that someday dead spin bloggers will understand what a joke is.

Yeah, baseball's way too fucking long!

Wouldn't the suspension be indicative of a 4th violation?

Not sure "receiving illegal benefits at Ohio State" belongs there. That was a joke of a suspension

Unfortunately here, I think the full body of work came into play. The DUIs didn't do him any favors

I've been waiting with bated breath for this one too, as I suspect many here have; not because we're browns fans, and not because we hate you. We honestly don't. No one does, in fact.

The Brownie Bunch: "You get a couple of fair-weather fans..."

But instead. My Brownies got him instead. SUCK IT HATERS! lol.

My team (Fulham FC) could use him. The Whites lost to freaking Millwall today.

He'll probably strikeout when he tries to talk to Mo'Ne Davis, unfortunately.

Sorry you got your feelings hurt. If you can ever get over it, golf is a pretty fun game. I'd recommend it.

I would say that at this exact moment in time the NFL makes the PGA and golfers seem like a paragon of humbleness.

As a San Diego resident who doesn't give a flying fuck about the NFL all I can really say is this. It's all true, this city sucks. Don't bother coming here, just stay in whatever awesome Midwest town you grew up in. And for god damn sure don't move here from Boston. You won't like it. For real, don't move here. …

...and as you probably know due to your wife, the women are hot, just the state itself is like one big swamp and as the old saying goes: Alabama; where lazy white people accuse black people of being lazy.

You forgot one:

I'm also a pussy about a lot of these things. I fucking loathe having to create a new email account. I hate the idea of '50 Shades.' Falling down isn't cool, twerking is awful, terrorism is terrifying and I don't like the the idea of my team pitching to Andrew McCutchen

I find that old people were not actually pussies about going to Europe.

Is this the 'Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Minnesota Vikings' article?

"Cut me, Mick," indeed.

Their names are Lindzie and Jordan