(“fame” is not an accurate descriptor, but the mot juste eludes me)

*ellipsis

Step 1: Apply Occam’s Razor.

They say cats are more sinister than dogs, but I think that is unfair.

I wasn’t sure whether I should regard this as poorly-communicated (and poorly-executed) sarcasm until I got to the last line, where you pretend that you think that motorcyclists should ride in the gutter.

I honestly tried very hard to distill what you wrote into the only language I understand well, which is English. However, the only thing I got out of it was that your mother warned you to be careful if someone throws part of a ton of scrap metal at you while you drive past a donkey.

They switched all the kids from peddle cars to Power Wheels electric cars, and kids got FAT.

1. *y’all
   

Erm — the only successful “cat mode” would be one which makes the interior of the vehicle impervious to the inevitable shredding that would befall it should anyone be stupid enough to leave a cat inside their least favorite of torture devices: a car.

*were

How many times have you been forced to endure an ice cold car on winter mornings?

1. The t-boned Hyundai did not actually enter the space where the POV car was before backing up, so no collision was actually avoided.

So how the hell do they get away with taking a GMC nameplate, replacing one letter with an illogical substitute, and calling it a “Jimny”? Is their next pony car gonna be named “Mustamg”?

All skiing content I encounter only reinforces my deep skepticism of this sporty leisure activity.

*whom

He may have plenty of mob ties, but he certainly has no mob cred.

The emphasis should go on the “that’s”; not on the “not.”

I mean, if I was teased because my last name was Gambino and then it was discovered that I hung with The Gambino family, the teasing might ease up.

*NHP < WHP < HP

“barefoot” is an adjective. You want “bare foot.”