That’s not a Pinto. You built a Chevy Citation.

I am a Chevy Malibu. In every way, I am almost as good as a Ford Fusion.

Dealers will be incentivized to sell these for the simple reason that buyers will return to the store for the free fast charge -- and buy t-shirts and accessories while they wait. That (and service) is where they make their money, and they’ll do anything they can to get their customer base to stop by the store as…

Other than “juvenile delinquency” and “early behavior problems”, the list exactly matches our pathologically lying, racist, dictator-groveling president. As if that outcome is any surprise.

The patriarchy in Sabrina is that within the system of witchcraft (the devil being a guy who rules over the witches)

“fiscally conservative, socially liberal”

the questionable constitutionality of summarily administered torture by police officers

Now I want cookies.

The premise hasn’t aged well, but the jokes are still gold

I grew up reading Harry Potter, and it shaped my life to the extent that I have a Deathly Hallows tattoo.

How did you get out of the grays? No, all men are not misogynistic neanderthals.

The only time I had to do that was on Chicago’s Lakeshore Drive, where there was no shoulder. After at least 3/4 of a mile, I eventually pulled into striped paint at an exit. It was 1:00 AM New Year’s Eve, so the cop presumed he had a nice fat DWI (as it was then known) on his hands, but I was, for some unknown…

*Mondays

Also, repossessions were/are a thing outside predatory lending practices.

Perhaps you should find a website where you can learn about the very real practice of predatory car loans. I hear that there’s a site called jalopnik.com with some good articles on it:

No shit. Warehouse isn’t even in the same area code as their other stuff, and Zen Arcade is definitely right up there with their best.

IMO, the best-tasting chocolate chip cookie is straight out of the freezer, so I’d say you have this advice backwards. Bake your cookies and then freeze them, and you’ll have delicious, ice-cold, crunchy cookies whenever you want them, with zero prep time required.

Here’s a couple ways to spot an unmarked cop car.

I’m sorry; I’m confused. Are you asking me to care what some trashy relative of an actress said, or are you asking me to care about some more stupid royal bullshit? I have no tears for any of these artificial celebrities, including the damn royal family.

Cynthia Nixon: New York gubernatorial candidate, actor, internet troll for justice, and purveyor of questionable taste in bagels.