It is the worst movie ever made. No.

Sting is the only almost-good thing in that terrible, terrible crapfest of a movie.

Yeah, but Peter Cushing was in Star Wars. All right, forget the Hammer stars, just get more low-grade British porn extras.

Let's sit on this couch and talk about space-tariffs! Then you go over there and talk to someone who doesn't exist!

We need Imperial officers played by mildly unattractive mustachioed British porn actors and Hammer film stars.

With George Kennedy as the no-nonsense tugboat captain, and Charlton Heston as the engineer who plays by his own rules, dammit!

"And now, Crisco Mystery Theatre presents…The Night Of! Starring John Tuturro!"

He had blood on his hands. He left bloody handprints on the cab. You show a jury a picture of her gruesome body, the knife found on his person, and his bloody handprints, and you're done. A defense attorney saying "shouldn't he be bloodier?" is not going to convince them.

Magic Noise Gas was probably Phlogiston's best album.

Maybe that oily guy could rally followers to his cause, become Warlord of Tonga, and conquer all the little Pacific countries. That would shave about a dozen countries right there, if we could lump Tuvalu and Vanuatu and whatnot under the Tongan Empire.

One thing I learned from the opening ceremony is that this planet has too many countries.

That golden thingamajig that started spinning in eleven dimensions from the heat of the cauldron was the coolest thing I've ever seen.

Claudius Ramone really tried to keep the band together, but Nero Ramone was such an asshole.

Yeah, I was pretty unhappy with the Nancy & Steve ending.

This is November of 83, Return of the Jedi came out in May of 83. The Lando references seemed a little off for me for kids from fall of 83, after Lando had been re-made as more heroic and less ambiguously scoundrel-y.

I think they probably would have still done the test-open before showing it to Hitler. It just would have been done in an airplane hangar in Berlin or something.

Let's not go crazy, now.

I think Nighthawks is on HBO GO right now.

Yeah, I got the impression it was just the ark defending itself. Old Testament God was clearly not paying attention to what Germans were up to in the 1930s.

You need Indy to get the ark out of Nazi hands and into that American warehouse. Without Indy, it stays in the hands of the Nazis, and it never goes to that island. It gets on the plane and flies to Germany.