Your parenting takes are the best takes. That and that and your takedown of the most famous piece of Canadian garbage, Hitchbot.

Bring back fat kickers.

Would you settle for a full back? There was a good play last night where two Cowboys defenders tried to tackle this guy. He got shoved out of bounds and laughed at their puny sculpted frames. I think he’s like 290

They were 12-4 two seasons ago, most of your narrative could only be applied to last season, and if you think someone seeks out broken collarbones, your house might be missing some paint chips.

We already have 10 responses from people who don’t get sarcasm!

The best thing about Starkville, Miss. is that there are roads that lead away from it.

Between Sulphur, La and Starkville, Ms, he or she got the “country” part right.

You’re just about wrong on all points. - Cowboys Fan

This. Is. Good. Kinja. The Kinja I crave.

The Cowboys, for the first time in a while, have a future.

Dak says, “Eh......”

This is excellent Kinja. It’s a blend of aromatic bullshit, with a dash of homerism, and a souson of ignorant subjectivity.

Cone on, now. The ball that DeAza caught would not have even cleared the fence.

Mmm. Intergenerational conflict. Bring on the Boomers to shake their walkers and the other Millenials to make fun of them with Snapchat filters. As a dedicated Xer, I shall dutifully express my aloofness by rolling my eyes at all of you.

That name’s too long. Let’s shorten it a little bit.

Dang... I grew up there... I’ve sat in that Starbucks...

Oh fuck yeah and I just realized I’m not in the grey on Gizmodo! The long con worked!!

Don’t get into fights, especially with strangers. They could have a gun or nunchucks or be a fucking UFC fighter who will beat you and your “What happens in vegas”-saying douche crew into the depths of hell.