Let's just, like, any time someone wants to interview Caitlyn, they just go to the Wachowski sisters instead? Can we do that? For a better tomorrow?

FUCK these people and let’s let them lie in bed dying of meningitis and see if they refuse fucking medical care. Reminds me of my religious zealot cousin who refused to get prenatal care and insisted on a half-assed home birth but quickly raced her ass to the hospital when the baby wasn’t breathing and needed a…

People, please start believing that health care IS the miracle God sent you.

Well, ain’t the Trump type crowd gonna flip their shit when they hear about this food stamp fraud!!!! Oh wait, it was committed by a bunch of white Christians... Nevermind then, carry on.

Let’s talk about how you have to get to #6 on the guy list before you get to someone who isn’t lying. It’s not that there aren’t pilots and firemen in the world, but the dude on Tinder is lying.

I used to be a chef. I never, ever bring it up. If you ask “So when are you cooking for me?” the answer is “Never.” Plus so many assholes thought a great first date would be for me to come over to their home and cook for them. So much WTF.

I guess my profession is on here (entrepreneur). I own a food business and during the time I tried dating apps, I was inundated. I had been a lawyer before and never had much luck finding men who were into that but once I became a business owner, not just any business, a FOOD business, men lost their minds. Most…

No one wants to date a graduate student.

If only there were a Tinder for quirky *smart people*, with insight + empathy, who read and human more than they mirrorgaze + treadmill?

(Nerdlr?)

I only date custodians. I have a mop fetish.

You need to watch the southern bridal shows to really appreciate the art of successfully paraphrasing, “that thing is ugly as fuck and I wouldn’t dress a dog in it.” into a socially acceptable statement that still allows you an out, but doesn’t cause the bride to dissolve into hysterical tears. Seriously, watching…

“It’s gorgeous. I just think it’s a little rigid.”

I would watch an entire show of Martha just dissing stuff.

My husband’s friend shot this whole season and his Martha moments are pretty fricken awesome. Verdict: BAD BITCH

Well I mean, babies aren’t supposed to be driving cars.

I know someone who’s daughter did, recently. And it’s been WAR at their house. (“you can find a way to creep with a d-list celebrity but you can’t find a job?”)

Don’t do it. I know I know “Back in my day we used to drive around in daddy’s truck sitting on his lap all the time!” Sure, the probability of you getting in an accident driving 100 yards is slim. But it is so so dangerous to have an airbag that close to an infants face. Instant death. Smashing of the skull. Just…

You really picked that header image well, Bobby. God damn.