“Clothing with names is the #1 thing that leads to kidnapping”

Maybe Maury is the secret to world peace?

One of my favorite Maury quotes (not from this article) was when he was told by a friend that he wouldn’t do “that” type of show for a million dollars a year.

I saw one once (circa 2004), where the baby was literally the guy’s twin. Maury was like, “you had unprotected sex with the mother 9 months before the baby was born. How are you so sure you’re not the father?”

My uncle taught Connie and Maury’s son several years back, and they really took a shine to my uncle and have since invited him to a few shindigs at their apartment (at the damn Dakota!) and he always told me that they were awesome people and a great couple.

That’s only good TV if the husband is also her brother.

I couldn’t agree more. My hubby and I actually find sleeping on it can really help. Staying up all night exhaustively hashing it out makes for delirious crying and breakdowns.

Gosh, I remember when he covered every day topics like weight loss and animals. When I was fourteen ( I’m thirty two) he had some guy on there talking about beauty tips and he said that if you wanted bigger breasts you should mash up a banana and mix it with honey and wear that on your breasts at night. I did this…

My twin cousins were conceived a month apart (though by the same dad), so one was born a little premature and the other wasn’t. So this kinda thing doesn’t surprise me at all, but of course, knowing the stats it’s still impressive!

1995, actually, if you look at the music coming out. And I loooooove it.

Apparently a little extra weight helps stave off dementia!

Mine would freak out: I LIVE ALONE? WHAT DO YOU MEAN I BECAME A TEACHER? ALL THOSE BOOKS ARE MINE? I FIT INTO THOSE CLOTHES NOW? Ah, I’d love to see that I think.

Sartorially I've circled back to my 15 year old self - Converse, cutoffs, teeshirts. I still listen to pretty decent rock music, I'm still single, I still think drinking wine is super cool... WELP so much for personal growth.

My 15 year old self would probably feel right at home, what with the early 90s style clothes (and records!) in the stores, a Clinton running for prez, a new Anne Rice vampire book and The Cure still around. Oh damn, it IS 1992, isn’t?

Fifteen year old me would cry because I was super depressed as a teen (I had terrible teachers) but then be like ‘I can drive a car? MY BRACES ARE OFF! I HAVE MY OWN ROOM! THEYRE MAKING A NEW STAR WARS I HAVE A AWESOME PHONE OMG’

As long as this stops her obsession with quiet drape runners, I’m all for it.

If you woke up as your 15 year old self, what do you think your 15 year old self would think of your current life?

It’s my #1 sport. Team-focused, fast-moving, cute Canadian dudes. What’s not to like?

THANK YOU