Not a sex story, but Flea taught me how to surf in Santa Cruz, CA. Super normal dude, really nice. This story makes sense to me.

She’s going to see this and excoriate me on Fb, isn’t she?

Some people can’t handle honesty though. I’m very honest when people need to hear it, when I feel like it’s my place to say something, and it never goes over well.

I had a friend in college who gave Fred Durst (of Limp Bizkit) a hand job, then came home the next morning, still drunk, waving her hand under all of our noses giggling "my hand smells like penis!" Can confirm Durst's peen does in fact smell like peen.

A good friend from ages ago told me she dated Flea for a time. Said he was very bright, and quite the gentleman. She thought the world of him. Pleasant surprise for a guy who wears stuffed-animal pants!

I was trying to capture the experience of hearing it firsthand, but my writing skills aren’t actually capable of the magnificence that is this story being told in the flesh.

Now that’s a word that doesn’t get used often. Harridan. I shall add it to my daily vocabulary.

I’mma guess:

This one is dated, and doesn’t technically involve the musician, but I’ll share. Also, I’m not sure if it is true, but considering my aunts love to tell the story when they’re drunk, and my mother gets all huffy while not explicitly calling it a lie, I believe it. My mom and two of her sisters came to the US (she’s…

Did she have some big titties with a matching ass?

I had a bit of a commute home but to clarify: In the last few hours, did the meaning of the word lost change to “easily found on the internet”?

I banged a semi-famous photographer who, after fucking me for a long time (pretty decent), he said he wanted to “finish.” I’m like, “Cool, I’m good.” Dude goes to the bathroom, gets the mini bottle of conditioner, jerks of onto my pussy, stares at it for a 5-10 seconds, then goes and gets a *warm* towel and wipes me…

I just get the impression being the untalented son of a LIVING MUSICAL LEGEND would totally fuck you up and make you weird in bed. And, apparently, smelly.

I used to know a woman (dead now) who claimed she’d lost her virginity to Jim Morrison. Though it was consensual, she said he howled like an animal the whole time and it was completely traumatizing.

My wife’s friend banged George Clinton. Took a clump a hair for a souvenir.

Imma come back in an hour after more people have gotten a chance to comment

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I was backstage at a music festival talking to my friend and his band mates, who were playing the next day, and Isaac Brock came into the artist tent and asked me to take a picture of him and his friend. Isaac was wearing a lime green tank top and tiny tiny florescent running shorts (SO TINY) and was so fucking weird.…