WAS THINKING SAME. GET OUT OF MY HEAD.

Eat well before hand - LOTS of iron & protein laden veggies help me power through (and my artist is a friend, so he has to suck it up and deal with my broccoli farts).

Starting when I was around 13 I realized I was really good at writing short stories, not so great at taking criticism. I started submitting my work under a fake name, and have been published quite a bit. Whenever I write I’m the courageous, creative, often dark and bitterly funny person people love to read. My small…

It makes me irrationally happy to hear that Wilson is a Nice Nerd

I was terrified this was going to be a bait and switch. Thank you for not ruining my Billy Love.

Hero status: ACHIEVED

BECAUSE SAND IS CRUNCHY.

He is the sweetest! My recently out of the closet friend (who is more Wentworth Miller than Carson Cressly) and I saw him at the Greek when we were 17, right about the time When I Was Cruel came out. We lurked near his bus after the show with a small pack of equally excited middle aged ladies, and when his security…

It is in the top 3 nights of my life. Legit.

I forgot ABOUT THE CRAMPS.

I started crying when I read this. Poison Ivy is. The. Shit.

You get two YAAAAAAHS BITCH! es:

holy shit I remember the matches!

AM INSANELY JEALOUS OF THIS WHOLE ELVIS EXPERIENCE.

I thought of another one! Things you should know: I used to wear an absurd amount of glitter to concerts, and despite my very tiny, 90 lb. frame I was always front and center at every punk show.

It was my first concert - Smashing Pumpkins. I was nine, and my dad wrangled a full night of visitation after finding me obsessed with their sins in the radio so he could take me to a concert. It was one of my last night’s with my dad before he died, and one of the first times anyone told me that I’m gorgeous when I’m…

15 year old me would be pleasantly surprised that I’m still alive, and even more pleasantly surprised that I turned into a fairly functional adult with good friends, a great partner, and a rad kid. She’d be incredibly proud that I cut my mother and step father out of my life, and that I was able to reconnect with my…

OH GOOD GOD I COULD WIN THIS IF I WEREN’T GREY.

Macy’s seems to be get home base. As an extremely narrow-pawed marsupial, I can vouch for the awesomeness of her heels.

Thank you! I feel like there should be a sub-Jezebel just for retail managers.