Thanks I like plain because I’m basic and fun.

For you, being trapped in a hotel in North Dakota during a blizzard in subzero temperatures will be a story you tell for the rest of your life. For midwesterners, it was Tuesday.

It’s like the promise of good tasting fat free cheese. I bite into it with naïve hope and it just ends up leaving a bad taste in my mouth.

creepy would be if it were someone ELSE’S hair.

Fridays (if your bosses are chill) or Thursdays (if your bosses are nerds)

Guiltr would have been more to the point.

Dear HRC: I keep thinking about that scene in The Abyss. You know the one where Ed Harris brings Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio back to life and, between bouts of CPR, he yells, “Goddammit, you bitch! You never backed away from anything in your life! Now fight!”? And she comes roaring back to life?

Yeah, I get that. But it’s like the dog shitting all over the house and then saying, “Help me raise money for a housekeeper.”

Hello from the grays. I just needed to say that your comment sums up what is the hardest (of all the very hard) things for me to get my head around in all of this. Truth in the Trump Age has become meaningless. Just say whatever you think serves you in the moment. Have someone like Conway there to deflect…

Words. Mean. Nothing. Anymore.

I read that too quickly and thought you were wishing people deep dish. Which I wouldn’t mind.

I shamelessly love Martha. And their show has really grabbed me. They’ve had quite a rapport since he guest starred on her show several times. I love them together.

Black and blue. Exactly like The Dress. Same colors, same camera trick, same yellow glow in the background.

Fuck this pie there’s no sweet potato in it

Everything 90s is making a comeback.

Obligatory seconding

eh, she seems like the kind of woman where screwing her significant other would take you from step A to Hep C.

I really wish that Oprah had never brought Dr.’s Phil & Oz out of the grays.

The song Drake and Taylor Swift are working on together “is about his failed romance with Rihanna.”

Oh god, my FB memories just recently showed me a post I made about what an apocalyptic nightmare scenario a Romney presidency would be. I want to find a time machine and go pat my past self on my little head and tell myself “oh just you wait my precious, naive little flower. Just you wait”.