My doctoral focus was the literature of the Great War. So thanks, Grandma!!

They no longer explode and hurl chicken parts all over old ladies? What's the fun in that?

I remember hearing an explosion and running into the kitchen to find my grandma staring up at a hole in the ceiling. Have fun with our pressure cooker!

Not to out myself or anything, but get fucked, you snarky vegetable.

It is worse.

As someone who periodically has skunks in his yard, I want to say how much I admire you for being brave and sticking around to hear what they sing.

"Barack" = nickname for Hussein

Goddammit.

What does "blush response" mean?

Ergo, Socrates is mortal.

That the one with the dude wearing the douchey little fedora? Because fuck him.

I was snowed in for a while and worried that I'd run out of battery life on my laptop. It took me a couple of days to realize that I could recharge my laptop and tablet batteries in my car.

Spotted dick, you right prat!

All denims are twills, but not all twills are denims.

Wank off, you sods!

That jacket isn't denim, you lying fucks. It's a varsity jacket.

I keep going to stores to buy a replacement pillow and coming out without one because all they've got are "puffy," "extra puffy," and "propped up for viewing."

Fish don't have hands.

Screw it. I upvoted him, too—and you and also myself.

Wearing that mini-skirt was beneath Lucy's dignity. Plus, she didn't have the legs for it. Carol Burnett, otoh—yowzah.