This Kinja shit really sucks!

I'm a bastard! I work at a college! I don't use emojis in emails! But I learned a helpful trick! So now I seem friendly and enthusiastic! That way the departmental assistants like me!

**Nun jumps onstage, begins rapping smug douche's knuckles with ever-present ruler.**

See, you gotta believe in God when you know this pisses Him off and he's got, like, boils and raining frogs and hell to punish nun-sassing motherfuckers with.

Thanks, two upvoters who are in the know.

Let's not spend the last two days of AVClub quarreling about what a knucklehead you are.

Nope. RC Cola.

Counterpoint: You're a bonehead.

My wife and I have had a run of shitty luck over the last few days (dog nearly died, car's water pump broke on interstate, got trapped into eating at Golden Corral). But this makes me so happy.

" “Dear Momma — Wherever you are, if you ever hear the word ‘n#gger’ again, remember they are advertising my book.”

But the dog died!!
(Suddenly realizes that was Hooch, not Tango; slinks away.)

You're not from around here, are you?

That Harriet Tubman is doing great work!

But it's my signature move!!

Another from that same site:

This is why Trump wanted to pivot away from the Nazis and toward statues. A comment posted on Inside Higher Ed—one of the two major academic websites:

Understood, but I had tens in my wallet. I fucked up because I was thoughtless.

Pence is a terror, but he's predictable, which would make me happy right now.

Without thinking, I (white guy) once paid for something in Cherokee, NC with a twenty-dollar bill. The cashier (middle-aged Native woman) was not my friend after that.

Upvoted, but: