Is there any word that makes me happier more quickly than "boner"? Nope. Fun word!

Bring it. I would've answered "Karen Blixen" and blown Alex's MIND.

And whose picture was on War Bonds? That's right. Ward Bond's.

When I converted to Episcopalianism, I excitedly asked the priest about Lent and how one decided what to give up. He said, "You know, there's a school of thought that says that renouncing worldly pleasure is an exercise in egotism. So perhaps we should all consider giving up the practice of giving things up." Welp, I…

That hersts.

The bit seemed hyper-rehearsed to me, which was the point. "Cock holder" was the high C at the end of an aria of intentionally crude insults.

To be fair, using the word "mouth" in the joke indicates that "cock holster" is to be taken literally rather than metaphorically.

She's the Only Woman Poet Who Ever Lived, right?

You know, I absolutely would have read a bunch of articles about cooking with Spam and would probably have tried out one or two. That stuff is weirdly tasty, and vice versa.

Do you understand what people do on pop culture sites?

They just drank a couple of forties each and are fucking with people.

And batting .333 will get you in the HoF.

One of my favorite jokes from childhood.
Smarty: Look! Here is Mark Twain's autograph!
Dummy: All I see is an X.
Smarty: That's his Mark.
Dummy: But where's the Twain?
Smarty: On the twacks, silly!

The Undercover video does not allow reviews.
That singer is bad.

What a bunch of babies. This is delightful.

Mom.

"Ted-Baxter-like anchor Chuck Pierce" was the next-to-worst thing on that show last week.

It wasn't so hard to make that joke! You shouldn't have balked at the opportunity.

I have tried reading on a stationary bike before, but my eyes wobble when I ride. The best I can do is to watch MSNBC and yell at Rachel Maddow to get to the point.

Carmine = VM Varga. Do not google that.