That would explain SO MUCH.

My personal favorite.

I will venture a partial response: I really like to watch guys jerking off. I'm mildly interested in dudes with things up their asses. If this were someone who I actually knew and thought was sexy and the item proposed wasn't fucking pepperoni, I'd take him up on it. But I do think this is a minority preference, and…

I had a guy message me and ask if I wanted to give him head while he played Skyrim. No hello. No introduction. Just asking if I wanted to blow him while he played. Which I wouldn't really object to, he was kinda cute, except that was the entirety of his message. Missed opportunity on his part. Provide a proper…

You know what, though? Pepperoni Butt has way better social skills than most people on OK Cupid.

Are that many girls really into watching that? Or is he trying to leverage peer pressure? I don't trust this guy. Be careful, next he's going to try to get you to smoke cigarettes.

I might go for it out of morbid curiosity.

I've had a few phases where I've done the downstairs waxing thing (I'm still a half-leg aficionado) and to be honest, getting my nethers done wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I honestly thought it would hurt like buggery, but it was so quick; it felt strange more than actually painful.

I'm not. Wasting a whole stick of pepperoni? Horrid. :(

It's sad that my silver lining to this is "well, at least he didn't call her a fucking bitch or ask to fuck her right in the pussy."

What a waste of pepperoni.

Well, as a true dyed-in-the-wool pervert who used to sell sex toys, I can tell you that my immediate first thought was, "oh yeah. Textured." So that would be my guess as to why pepperoni. If you don't want to go out and buy a big veiny dildo, this might be your cheapest option. Or else he's using the cheap stuff…

Can we all just agree to just reply to comments actually made rather than preemptively complaining? The whole trend of "stupid comments I disagree with in 3...2...1..." should die.

I'm generally a fan of dark humor, but there are times when it's just in poor taste. This guy is such an easy target for mockery and most of the jokes are so obvious — why make them when he's clearly in pain?

Seems like in front of strangers or kids he could pretend to have stomach ache (because it looks like that), so he would not have to feel so embarrassed. But probably it doesn't work that way, and he feels embarrassed just for having them, even when they wouldn't know and it's not his fault. Also, strange that people…

This sounds hideously embarrassing and painful. I don't even want to contemplate how unpleasant this must be, and how psychologically damaging.

My heart breaks for him. It really does. The story about his father's funeral made me tear up.

You would think that he must be milked dry after the first dozen or so orgasms.

This is some Grey's Anatomy shit (actually, I'm pretty sure there was an episode about this very topic). I actually find it crazy that it isn't treatable—maybe the treatments are too drastic (would remove orgasm function entirely) to be worthwhile options?

Wut?