Stupid elf. If you eliminate the munchies no one will buy your cookies.

Boy do I have a game for you...

Too bad the Caps playoff failures are preventing an Ovechkin visit to the White House.

It’s also a neat monetary fact that, if you start with a penny and double it every day for an entire month, at the end of the month Sarah Huckabee Sanders will still be a total asshole.

I wonder if he would be so patriotic if cops regularly killed unarmed bean farmers.

Supposedly Trump acts like a spoiled child on purpose because he knows, if he does it enough, Ivanka will eventually spank him.

Good for J.T. It’s about time some right wingers started protesting.

This is just a long justification for when someone asks why he doesn’t kneel for the anthem.

I would argue that Alabama deserves absolutely zero representation in anything, as it’s a shit-backwards fuckhole of a state that remains proudly ignorant, bigoted, and a drain on reasonable, decent society.

Any NFL player with an ounce of moral fiber needs to protest in solidarity with Kaep. The very same flag that Kaep is kneeling against is draped behind this megalomaniac, senile racist as he cheerleads for billionaire owners to fire their black employees for protesting social injustices.

Trump is a dipshit.

And the Broncos won a Super Bowl only 3 years ago. Coincidence?

“God’s got this.”

I’m desperately trying to keep my cat from cooking our family dinner every night.

It looks like the news is that West Virginia Governor Jim Justice will switch parties from Democrat to Republican.

• Fallacy of relative privation (“not as bad as”) – dismissing an argument or complaint due to the existence of more important problems in the world, regardless of whether those problems bear relevance to the initial argument. For example, First World problem.

“The bids required a deposit of $10 million, with $2 million of that non-refundable,”

True story time: When I was a kid I had this cat named Bruiser. We named him that because when he was a kitten and trying to get some milk from his mother he would literally ram the other cats out of the way with his head. I grew up with this cat from about the time I was 2 until he died when I was 9. This was the…

Cats are a useless pet. They are always bad and never good. This was true before the discovery of toxoplasma gondii and will be true if this parasite is eradicated.