You are Nomadikat.

It may be a mystery now, but if the video is grotesque or horrifying, we know it will be posted down here soon enough.

Jesus Christ, did you just fall for an obviously fake news story from an obviously fake news site? This has got to be the most Jezebel thing that has ever happened.

"I blacked out. I don't really remember."

Most people do not live like that. That is not controlled chaos, it is squalor and it is neither normal nor healthy, nor is it in any way admirable.

Finally!