"To automatically to be lumped into that category of a gang... that hits a little close to home for us, because that isn't our intent at all," Strobl said.

<Cries into a thermos monogrammed K.D.*> That was beautiful.

When I was 4 years old I was the flower girl for my cousin's wedding. My older brother was the ring bearer and I thought this was "ring bear" and he was going to get to wear a bear costume. I loudly declared to our entire family "if brother gets to be a bear then I want to be a duck!" This is the stuff of family…

Hey, this is perfect! I just quit my job two hours ago. Actually, I gave notice. I told my boss I needed to quit my restaurant managing job in Louisiana to move back to NYC. I thought he'd be mad, but he actually said I have to take care of my life first, and that I did a great job and really made a difference in the…

I quit two college jobs with both birdies blazing. Job the first: beloved local pizzeria chain. I was an evening hostess/lunchtime server. The head server had worked there for 17 years; since he was 17. He liked to make sexist and racist jokes. I got a lot of the former, since I was uppity enough to be smart and a…

and what are exact legal laws about spanking??? you can use a palm on an ass, but no belt......

I would prefer that we get to supervise THEIR use of force.

My balls fit in a guy's mouth on the regular. They don't need that much room.

I: Debt
as mentioned already seems right.... but line 5 is not really fitting, I don't know.

Riddle I: Disease - If you don't get it taken care of, it just gets worse. Its vaults are flesh and bone. And it "takes a loan" by using your own body to keep itself going.

EXPELLIARMUS!

and i would walk 500 miles and i would walk 500 more, just to be the man who walked 4,349 to fall down at your door gasping "please marry me, i am so desperate for attention"

My car Felix has me well trained.

Just when you think we've hit

I know this is supposed to make us all "ugh, kids, these days", but honestly it makes me wish their parents paid more taxes.

You should voluntarily deport yourself to wherever your great-granparents slipped in from to have your grandmother anchor baby. It's never too late.

I hate to be the dumbass here(not from the US obviously), but what is Plan B, and is there a Plan A?

"When it's dark, all you see is corn." ::CALLS 911 IMMEDIATELY AFTER JUST READING THIS STATEMENT::

Totally a bear.

As MawTrashy would say, if you have to brag to others about how good your sex life is, it's probably non-existent.