I should've added that I was alone :(

See, but if it's a woman, doing drag king, she KILLED it.

Yes I'm sure she understands everything that is written and spoken about her father.... except for the fact she's not even two years old, and has the word comprehension and attention span of a... wait for it.. TWO YEAR OLD.

This dude only got 9 years as punishment for trying to kill someone and he gets pics of her children? Oh hell no. Hell. No. This is terrifying. Is he going to get visitation after his release too? I think your parental rights kind of end at throat slitting.

So, my feces and urine aren't supposed to be bloody? I... I need to go.

Blow job week?

UGH the blowjob week idea is beyond annoying to me. Like, let me get this straight—you recognize that my body is doing some funky gross shit that is terribly unpleasant, yet you think that I'm in the mood to selflessly stick your dick in my mouth all week with no expectation of any sort of mutuality? NOOOOOPE.

Fixed that for you.

I think she derailed herself when she married Guy Ritchie and pretended to be British. At least that's when I started to find her inauthentic.

Ok, I have a lot of feelings about this post, and about previous coverage of Madonna on this site and elsewhere of late.

I'm sorry, but no one eats p—— as much as the guy in that book.

Well, she has dated/married or just fucked a cavalcade of assholes. Shout outs to Sean "Piece of Human Garbage" Penn, Guy Richie, A-Rod (?), and Dennis Rodman.

Listen, Jez-Writers, we get it. You're a bit of a clique and you sort of hive mind who you love and who you hate on this minute. It's become painfully obvious. Even now with a batch of new writers, we're still getting these pop-culture articles that all fit together so nicely.

However, Madonna has been playing this "I…

I'm sorry, but no one eats p—— as much as the guy in that book.

Miss u gurl.

In my world that is a fucking marriage proposal, AND I ACCEPT.

be right over dude

Was her name Amanda by any chance? These sound shockingly similar to a boss I had. She claimed to have gotten into Harvard undergrad but turned it down because their pharmaceutical school wasn't very good. Then when she graduated college she said she got 4 degrees (2 of which were "accidental" because she had…

This was actually a lie that I told. When I was four, my aunt got a divorce. My family and I visited Minnesota to visit her, and she took us for a ride in her new speed boat. It was the best thing that had ever happened to my landlocked, Iowan self.

Best one I ever heard: girl said she was the daughter of an ex-Mafia don from Italy. Her family moved over here to get away. She married her twin brother in international waters, but they had an open marriage. She was filthy rich and had like 4 supercars.