The GOP presidential nominees, to start.

My List of 5 is basically all guys old enough to have gone to high school with my parents. I have issues.

I am DYING over here. So true.

You said all of this much better than I could have which is “WTTTFFFFFFF?? AARRGGGHHHH.”

Ha, true. My mom is pretty nuts but at least when I introduced her around my office when she came to visit she had a normal name :) The crazy shows itself when she starts talking.

OMG is that their kid’s name? Obviously they belong with the Kardashians!

Hi, this is my mom, TOKYO TONI.

Is it weird that part of me thinks this would actually benefit Tyga and Blac Chyna’s kid, too? I mean, theoretically they’d be at the same family events so the kid would get to see his parents for holidays and stuff - no shuttling back and forth.

Right? Between divorced parents and some of our guests having complicated histories with each other we were a little nervous but this is not even NEXT level crazy. It’s just...everything I could ever dream of.

I am 100% on board with this.

Aw, thank you!

Those are awful people.

That is so obnoxious. One of my oldest friends was a large C-cup and 5'9" in the 6th grade, and I’m still basically built like a 5th grader (well, with hips, but I’m short and small-chested). I always felt awful when we’d stand next to each other in photos growing up and people (including her own mom) would make…

It’s like girls are allowed to have varying interests. I know: WEIRD.

I don’t think I had the guts to say stuff like that when I was 29, let alone 9. I need to take her out for mozzarella sticks and ask her to be my life coach.

But apparently swearing at her is totes cool. Ugh. The people of that town don’t deserve her!

I love everything about this. Well, except for the part where someone was murdered. That’s obviously not great, Bob.

No judgement here, friend. No. Judgement.

Oh, I love being alone (goddess bless my husband’s semi-regular business trips that give me roughly 3 days of silence and solitude and the whooolleee bed) and absolutely think everyone should at least try living alone. I think you’re on to something with this being a sort of training wheels for getting out on your…

I absolutely loved living alone but also insisted on doing it in SF where I really should have had a roommate because $$$. If it’s an expensive place to live and you’ll have to have roommate anyway, why not at least live somewhere nice-ish?