I have seen him around - want me to hit him up?

How about “asshole?” Is that a diagnosis?

Seriously. I usually have to poop more when I have too much coffee, not beg Mark Zuckerberg for money.

A friend of mine who’s a screenwriter has what he calls the “hookers, nuns, and retards” (excuse the term, please, he was repeating/mocking something offensive he heard in a meeting) rule when it comes to who’s nominated/who wins for Best Actress/Supporting Actress. It’s pretty foolproof, really.

My mom is fond of saying, “Money can’t buy class or taste” and it’s proven allll the time.

Why not both?

Part of me does think that’s not a terrible idea, but geography isn’t going to make him immune to this situation in the future. He needs to learn coping skills and ways to identify abusive (or hell, just unacceptable/personal dealbreakers) behavior without having to move each time. Seems more cost-effective and like a…

Seriously, like there won’t be another succubus waiting for him in the new location? Knowing how to deal with this shit is a good plan, and way more cost-efficient than moving after every break up. He sounds like a drama llama himself.

I’m embarrassed to admit how often my mom and I still quotes these sketches. It’s like our pop culture references/inside jokes come to a screeching halt around 1996.

Wishing your DIL and whole family good, healthy wishes. She’s very lucky to have you on her side!

SAME. Well, my in-laws aren’t Catholic and my parents are lapsed Catholics, but the extended family and a lot of our friends are - they seem really taken by the Cool Pope and I’m like, “Too little, too fucking LATE” y’all. Great, he loves animals and isn’t actively calling for homosexuals to be burned at the stake.…

Wouldn’t it?

Rococo Olive Garden Barbie Dream House!

So now everyone’s boners are the responsibility of women AND the NFL? Glad we’ve lightened our load a little here, ladies.

Doesn’t he? I guess being a hateful dumpster fire really does a number on you.

Oh, she didn’t pry and luckily she didn’t dig deeper into “Don’t you want kids?” or I probably would have lost my shit. Our experience has basically turned me into someone who never asks about anyone’s parental status/plans or inquires about a pregnancy (what if it’s just an empire waist top???) even if her water…

Exactly! What if I had been pregnant at the moment she asked me but not ready to tell people? I either have to lie or disclose personal info on a timeline I’m not comfortable with. Or what if I had suffered a miscarriage that week? What if I reported her ass to HR?

My husband and I work for the same company and recently his boss flat-out asked me if we’re having kids (we’re not). I snottily replied, “No, so don’t worry about losing him to paternity leave.” She (yes, this is a woman with, like, 5 kids of her own) then quickly told me that she knows of two other people in their…

You’re hired!

Ha, thanks!