My search brought back different results:

Because they’re fucking green

Because tennis balls are actually green.

I’ve been watching it for 38 minutes on a loop and I haven’t blinked yet. I’m dictating this to my son so he can write it for me so I don’t avert my eyes from the glory. Pray for me, 6th. Pray for me.

12th man hates 13th amendment.

Leach has always been inconsistent. He kicked a kid off his Texas Tech team just because his dad had killed a bunch of hookers. Not cool.

I fucking love this man.

“...and the US needs to go BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK BACK to segregation”

Congratulations are in order, then, for anyone born between 1981 and 1996: You’re officially a millennial (at least, in the eyes of Pew).

I’d rather have the flight delayed, and then canceled, and then the pilot quits, and then the airline goes out of business, and then the airport shuts down, and then all flights are grounded, and then humans lose the knowledge necessary for mechanical flight, than be on a barf plane.

Delay delay delay; this is the only correct answer. The worst part about modern (economy) air travel is that you’re strapped into a cramped tube for hours as you’re thrown across the sky. Why would you want to make that even more hellish with the addition of everyone barfing? With no place to escape from the smell and…

Delay, no doubt. Ideally, I’d just have a beverage or five in the nearest lounge. If it’s a delay where you’re stuck on a plane and it won’t go back to the gate, it’s pretty miserable, but not as miserable as being in an enclosed space with all of that barf.

I’m sure Bostonians will receive this news with calm and understanding.

Tough decision. His heart is between a rock and a hard place.

I’m mostly concerned that these are just a start with the legalization of marijuana in my state.

How dare his legions of fans dare speak their desires that he finish the story he began?

This is the big break calzones have been looking for!

No, fuck that. Little truth time. I was savagely bullied from about 1st grade through Highschool. Small school, and it was one kid for 8 years that made every day of my life hell, but nothing ever happened to him because his daddy donated an entire fucking wing to the elementary school. I was undersized and had/have…

Man that is messed up, and right after he shoots Richie Incognito, I really think we need to take his guns away from him.

I love it but I have to hide it from my wife. Once or twice a week I’ll be in the garage squeezing Fire Sauce on my bean and cheese burrito while hiding in my car.