4 rules for wedding planning: short ceremony, good food, good booze, and good music.

I’m confused as hell after reading the deodorant one. Did someone mix up parallel and perpendicular? Do I not understand human anatomy?

That’s so obviously photoshopped!

Sean — and I say this with an incredible amount of respect for you as a writer (one of my favorites on the internet), a journalist, and a person — this is legitimately clickbait bullshit. The mountain of qualifiers heaped in the second half of this article practically unwrites the first and proves that point. Except…

He, like many, probably lost faith in this website after Clark the Cub failed to clear 75% in the 2014 Hall of Fame vote.

Submitted for your approval of the Midnight Society... “The Tale of the Menacing Plants”

Wasn’t there already an “Are You Afraid of the Dark?” TV movie? I remember it being pretty good.

I’m just going to pretend that he’s being replaced by DAN Carlin.

Thank you for this:

Man, that horse you are riding on desperately needs some water.

For the record, nobody thinks that.

“Their castmates, including Rose Byrne, Edie Falco, Helen Hunt, and longtime CK collaborator Pamela Adlon, have not weighed in on the matter.”

Yeah, but what’s her take on a 4-3 defensive scheme with Manti Te’o at the Mike?

#humblebrag

Go to better restaurants.

He will be replaced by Chris Plummer.

Tebow’s NFL highlights should be more than sufficient to counter the idea of white supremacy.

Surprised this didn’t appear during the tirade

I don’t want to Monday Morning QB your editor but I think we probably would have figured out “Boston” from the rest of the headline.

I also bumped into Jeff Fisher on a checkout line recently. It was at a 7-Eleven in Montana. However, after he left it was a 7-Nine.