I try very very VERY hard to be patient but the sound of children screaming is so aversive to my ears, it puts me in a dark place. I can’t handle it. I think its really cool that some places don’t allow children. I feel like the whole world caters to families, so its nice to have a place just for adults. 

I don’t know if my publicist will kill me for saying this. We’d get high and then we’d sit in the bath together and we’d rub makeup brushes on our faces. It’s fun.

Look, if someone doesn’t like to fly when they don’t have to, but can overcome their fear of flying when necessary, then there’s no way they were sexually assaulted as a teenager. That’s just science.

I try as hard as I can not to buy into party tribalism but the fact that Al Franken voluntarily resigned after a picture of him pretending to honk a sleeping woman’s breast came out, and people like Roy Moore and Brett Kavanaugh refuse to give up campaigns with the allegations they face is solid proof that Democrats…

Your friend is crazy. Mike Nesmith is where it’s at.

please, Ruby Rhod is magic.

Because we’re in The Bad Place.

Society allows white men to make mistakes. Women and POC not so much. It was never about her emails. Just like how people aren’t really mad at the kneeling for the national anthem. They’re mad that black men are being uppity.

I’ve been watching the 1971 movie a lot lately because my toddler loves it.

Yeah, Cosby, because the thought of someone making you ingest something against your will and knowledge is pretty fucking horrifying, huh?

Dear Kellyanne,

My mom is 70 years old... if some smug bitch did this to her, I swear to god I would beat her senseless.

Respect and sense seem to be antonyms for these “instagram celebs”

Rory Gilmore had a similar dilemma.

I...am so sorry. Holy shit. My mouth dropped open while reading that. That’s so fucking abusive.

His next child’s full name should be Fire The Cannon.