Also, our menses attract bears.

the only thing i care about in football is when the winning team lines up to gently kiss the tip of the president’s penis and receive a championship muffin

I went to the last Magary fan club meeting and it was all 19 year old models from Milan and Oil tycoons, so he’s not wrong.

Everything is better on drugs, man.

The whole Zen Master thing was always bullshit.

Just wanted to give the podcast a recommendation. Through episode 6. Well thought out and structured.

Amen.

The existence of a coach named Jeff Fish implies the existence of a coach in the NFL named Jeff Fishest.

(Me, smart): Hmm well actually the presidential election and how you get a cab are different

I’m all for rich Trump supporters to throw around money while desperately telling everyone they meet that they’re not racist. I get the impulse, and the $450 is crazy generous. But saying the equivalent of, “Oh, you’re one of the good ones. Here’s some money.” still seems off putting.

For me, the biggest takeaway from this story by far is HOLY SHIT JAROMIR JAGR IS STILL PLAYING.

She isn’t the President. Your guy is. You fucked up. Bad. And re-litigating the election isn’t distracting anybody from your role in the dismantling of this country. One thing I can with confidence say of a hypothetical Clinton presidency—when it was over the country would still be around.

It’s basically a popularity contest for the writers

Can’t wait to see the look on everyone’s faces when Trump somehow gets in.

I don’t know man, that’s a pretty literate reference. I think JaVale wins that round handily.

siiiiigh. Silver’s analysis showed Trump as more competitive than literally any other pundit not actively working for Mr. Trump. He was wrong, but he was a hell of a lot less wrong than basically everybody else.

This isn’t a story about a guy being a dick, but I was once in a Taco Bell when Mike Holmgren walked in, studied the menu intently for two solid minutes, and then walked back out never having said a word. It was over ten years ago but not a day goes by that I don’t wonder what the heck his internal monologue must have…

Draper found this video at r/Dogberg, which is the only good subreddit and is filled with videos of dogs delivering Goldberg spears to humans.