My inlaws were on a cruise in 2013 and they got a balcony for that specific reason. Definitely not saying you don’t know what you’re talking about. Just saying I’m pretty sure my inlaws smoked on that balcony, legal or not.

This is completely true but it also flies in the face of what we’ve been shown our whole lives which is you fight for the woman and make grand gestures. In a movie, that makes a scene. In reality, it makes you a stalker and a nutbag.

Calling the cemetary now to see if I can get this on a headstone when I die.

She left out smokers. My inlaws are smokers and always pay for a balcony so they don’t have to trudge up six decks in the middle of the night for a cigarette.

The size of a wave that would rock a cruise ship would be enormous. I’ve been on one of the casino day cruises where the water was so bad 50% of the crew got sick along with the passengers and the took us back to port. On the cruise ship the only time I even felt the boat move was docking and undocking.

My wife has five tattoos and I tolerate them. My biggest problem is most tattoos are just bad. They’re badly thought out, poorly done and fairly generic. I have a lot of respect for the good ones. I have a friend who’s a chef and he has a butcher map of a pig on his forearm and I love it. Another guy does makeup and…

Nicely done Google. I always used Politifact and FactCheck which I still like but Google just has a massive list of their quotes which makes the contradictions and batshit crazy even more obvious. I don’t even need sources or have someone to explain why they’re valid\invalid points. Read enough of their quotes and it…

I don’t know if he ever looked and what his situation was. He may have been one of those kids people leave at fire stations for all I know. Sucks regardless.

Nobody wants to identify with the oppressor. I can understand that.

Was she working at the brothel voluntarily?

I knew a guy who was adopted and had dark skin and mostly straight black hair. The rub was he didn’t know his ethnicity so when he looked in the mirror he didn’t know what he was looking at. He never knew what box to check on an employment application. People say racist shit and he didn’t know whether he should be…

We used to bike several miles to the convenience store for candy and comic books. Likewise, we all survived.

I live in a planned subdivision and any evening I can step outside and see a dozen kids on scooters and bikes or playing in the field across my house. I picked this neighborhood specifically for that.

Here’s the deal. Somebody has to win, it might as well be me. Secondly, you know what odds are even worse than the lottery? You chance of being a billionaire if you weren’t born into money.

In the 80's we would go out “to play” in the morning. Pop back in for lunch and be out until the street lights came on or my father stood the front yard and whistled for us. Yes, he literally whistled and you could hear him blocks away and we’d come home. The only rules were that we didn’t go into anyone’s home that…

I’m a big movie fan. I saw that Debbie Reynolds had amassed this collection of movie props and memorabilia that studios gave to her. She tried for years to get a museum open and couldn’t get investors. I’d open one and not care if it made money. I’d take $100m and open a movie studio financing $3m movies to first time…

I really wish IMDb would have a line chart of reviews over time. There are movies that people love at release and then ten years later the opinions shift. I’m sure Titanic and Forrest Gump aren’t nearly as high as they would have been at release and other movies like Shawshank Redemption and Braveheart found audiences…

My guilty pleasure is finding universally beloved movies and reading the negative reviews. It’s a Wonderful Life, Star Wars, Wizard of Oz. You learn pretty quick people just like to be dicks.

How the hell would I remove the two tines in the middle? This sounds like it involves vices and dremels.

And I completely agree with all of that. If you took over a department kept the entire staff (not being responsible for hiring them) I don’t think you could look at their work output and know who had the better education.