And in just 2.5 seconds, Lt. Kevin "Moose" Santagata singlehandedly proved to his fellow officers that regular physical training, balanced dietary habits, and accurate use of firearms were all overrated.

Congratulations to KomradKickAsson for COTD! For your troubles you will receive a sample what Chevy would like you to believe Ford uses in their truck beds:

It’s not explicitly clear, but if that $40m guaranteed in the first two years is the total for all 6, he should be batting that shit away. NFL players’ contracts are bullshit, I am pro-any player using his leverage to make sure he gets paid no matter what.

The pen in the pocket, the unbuttoned neck button, the color scheme and design of the tie, the color scheme and design of the beard, the woolly caterpillar eyebrows...incredible. I wonder how many miles his Ford Tempo has on it now.

Simmons believes that his firing was the result of a conspiracy:

“We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls.”

It will happen one day, but the recent OPEC meeting hints that that day is not any time soon.

tough competition...Chevy focus groups, Prius bank robbers, Cadillac god-knows-what, that goofy Mazda ad Back in Baby’s Arms, Fiat Viagra...

Right? I don’t get how some people are so dumb, let me buy a big gas guzzling SUV vs a fuel efficient full sized sedan or wagon to drive everyday. Happens every time I swear. History will never repeat itself right!!?!? LOLOL.

Royals fan here. He deserved everything he got from Machado. This is his fourth or fifth incident since the start of last season. He’s shown no growth in maturity or composure.

None of his teammates coming near him on the bench afterward says enough about how they feel about his continuing antics.

And his hardest pitch…

Maybe your buddies over at Gizmodo know something?

The Yard Goats played home games at Dodd Stadium in Norwich

Roger Goodell: [is constantly abused by fans of other 31 NFL teams]

As you should. Hating Goodell spans all fandom boundaries.

Hardcore UFC fans will sleep a lot easier tonight as soon as someone reads this to them.

IMO Harris should be a full time cast member and Evans should sticck to being a role player who does the interviews (what he’s actually been ok at his whole career) and the occasional VT segment. Of course his salary and ego would never allow that so I have to just dream.

I remember the good ol’ days when if you crashed you just blamed Pastor Maldonado. Now things are so complicated...

This article is right above an ad for a Smartcar Bluetooth Dongle. It’s very easy to point the finger Kevin, but we all know Deadspin is in the bag for Big Dongle!