Move to California. People have the same diet restrictions here and you can quickly organize a protest to picket places that don’t cater to your special dietary needs... I drove past an organized protest yesterday at a local Ribs n’ Barbecue joint for not offering vegan dishes...

Kids Zicam- 2 legit 2 quit giving it to my kids. You’re welcome for the MC Hammer pun.

Everyone has a hazy IPA now too- I’d sub a hazy IPA for the pilsner... Even a newbie has had a pilsner before..

So this is a, “You’re oppressed, but quit saying you’re as oppressed as me because I am more oppressed than you” piece...  Pretty low rent, even for this site...

Easter is fun when you eat hard boiled eggs ahead of Easter... They make you gassy, so when you’re in church celebrating the Risen Christ, you can fart and see the bells-palsy-like faces fellow parishioners make when they walk into your fart. +100 points for you if you can fart after taking communion... It becomes…

So Jim Halpert will be the next James Bond.  Dwight Schrute would be a good villian...  His girlfriend too...

^This..  And I’m glad he was the last out for the World Series...

California- Sure we have poor land management that leads to fires getting way out of hand, but we’ve banned plastic straws, therefore eliminating all ocean pollution. You’re welcome, world.

Nina Hartley is a MILF champ, but pales in comparison to Brandii Love...  As it relates to her being an actress.... Hmm...  “My son isn’t home yet, but you’re welcome to sit on the couch right there and wait for him...” <- Not so much acting...

Isn’t Torrid the Victorias Secret for bigger girls place?

I’m in the throws of open enrollment for my company now- I’m considering a plan where I have a $3K deductible and pay for almost everything until the deductible is met. It comes with a $6K out of pocket max. That plan is $17 every two weeks, compared to $100 every two weeks for the opportunity to pay a $25 copay for…

Career in standup? Working in the morgue is a stiff business? Anyone??

The Mandalorian you speak of is at home, preparing Boba Fett’s dinner... The lone gunfighter is Boba Fett.  Get back in your lane!

We better start finding accusers for the next round of SCOTUS candidates... Let’s get ones with better memories this time! Damned them! We should see if we can change the rules to have popular-vote elections for SCOTUS judges too.

Hearts start beating at three weeks. If calling it a zygote makes you comfortable with stopping that heartbeat, its on you, Jack.

Do you remember in the original Tron movie when the older programs were put in the cone thing by MCP at the end? So does this woman...

We hosted a slumber party for my son’s 9th birthday over the summer- Nine kids, including my son.  You could tell the kids that regularly have sleepovers and the ones that don’t. I also found that the kids I thought were the ‘nice kids’ were in-fact turds. Total Eddie Haskells...

I like in the previews for the next three episodes how older Judith Grimes accurately shoots the zombies to save those people with what looks like her father’s old hand-cannon. She weighs 45 pounds at best. I don’t mean to be the ‘Realistic Much? Police’, but come on!

I was just curious. And what would you consider Pelosi’s successes?

Casting Rob Gronkowski doesn’t make it modern-campy... Just another shitty reboot.