Ringbearers age more slowly.

I used to have an idiot friend who joked out loud that the main reason that Jack didn’t fit on the door was that Rose was too heavy. He came to regret saying that within earshot of a (now former) female friend of his.

At least Tolkien had a son (Christopher) to carry on his work after his death. Instead of having children, this idiot wrote about medieval porn. Now his brain is too limp to write anymore, it seems. Or maybe it’s something like a fat version of the main character in the film “Wonder Boys”, in which weird superstitions…

Deadspin eventually got shamed into halting the “drunken hookup failure” posts that always reeked of fiction. But after they got smacked around by the lawyers, the new “Gizmodo Media Group” (don’t call it Gawker!) seems to have adopted a stubborn Trump-style “My Way” attitude. They’re Brooklyn-style hipsters to the…

The “Prevent Cancer Foundation” is a horribly inefficient charity. Their most recent 990 form shows that only a small portion of their received donation money is being passed on to medical institutions for cancer research. As you can see here, in black and white, MORE THAN HALF of all donations in 2014 were spent on…

“a close second to The Real Adventures of Johnny Quest”

I’ve met a bunch of Google employees, and been a guest at their NYC office. I was far from impressed. Overall, it seemed more like a toddler day care than a workplace. The fancy custom touchscreen “virtual book” wall in the library that probably cost them a fortune didn’t even work (at least, when I was there). They…

I wish I could liquify every Gawker Media employee, and commenter, and then flush them all down the toilet. And no, I’m not an Alabama fan. But I don’t hate them either. I DO hate all of you.

How come deadspin hasn’t made a listicle about Fantasy Team names for next year based on this incident? Stop being depressed about Trump and get back to pumping out shitty posts about sports.

Hey, guys look at me! It’s all about me here! Like the Lindsay Lohan of sports. 2012 was a long time ago, sweetie.

People’s sexual personalities are (hopefully) not yet formed at that age, so what does it matter? Bloggers are such pathologically nosy people...

I agree. I’m guessing people or businesses have to be authorized by USPS to sell stamps. And if USPS detected that a significant arbitrage operation was going on, what would stop them from withholding the arbitrager’s authorization to serve a stamp vendor?

Almost clever, but didn’t quite get there.

For fans of impotent, boring teams... is switching teams allowed? If not, I’d give it up entirely instead. Pouring significant personal enthusiasm into a lifetime of supporting a boring team of losers like the Lions, Rams, or Jags.... that doesn’t work for me. Life is too short for that.

Thanks Kara. I was one of the deadspin readers thinking it was a “Read” rather than Shade, but you set me straight.

Gawker Media will post anything that will get clicks.

Of course they don’t have a choice. The whole concept of the Rockettes is about toeing the line and NOT BEING DIFFERENT. Anyone who doesn’t like that can be replaced with alternates (which ARE available). Individual performers cannot pre-approve individual shows. They can either get on stage and kick whenever they are…

Drew, if you are #Blessed enough to live close to a Wegmans, they make amazing breads. This one is my favorite: https://www.wegmans.com/products/bakery/bread-fresh-baked/white-bread/rosemary-olive-oil-loaf.html

Buy a subscription package and find out for yourself. It’s not expensive, and clearly you could could use it if you’re already read enough articles to hit the Paywall limit.

But have you used the word correctly? When “ballyhoo” is used as a verb, I have always seen it to mean to highly praise something undeserving of such high levels of positive attention. I have never seen it used it used outside of a marketing setting in place of more direct and more common words such as “exaggerate” or…