This is great news for the four-leggeds. And for my conscience. My childhood nickname was the Cheeseburger Kid. But I feel all the feels for the poor sweet animals. I would welcome this enthusiastically, but I’m already wincing at the anti science Jebus crew pushback.

Well, yes, the supermodel would be making the sex and the sandwiches, and never age or menstruate.

Impressive graphics for 2006! I don't get this whining. Just don't participate then. Oh wait the world owes you free sex and sandwiches I forgot.

Don’t punch that baby girl, Chris Brown. Friendly reminder!

My effed up eyeballs read that as “I had summer in Privilege Port, RI...” I was like holy shit that’s the next level of summer-as-a-verb. He had it like he banged it with his crab embroidered chinos around his ankles in the boathouse.

But it was HER day!! Seriously this bride shit is so out of control, it makes normal acts of decency seem heroic. Get your priorities straight you selfish twats.

So I used to drive big rigs and every time I hear ‘conscious uncoupling’ I think of a self aware truck unhitching itself from a self aware trailer.

At this point, he pulls out a line I’ll never forget: “This is a TRAVESTY. Someone should PAY FOR THIS.”

Again, nothing sexual

Hahahaha it reminds me of the dick flier from Always Sunny that was supposed to be an arm

Boomers love this story because it confirms their “greatest generation” narcissism. Yall did some insane shit in the 40s. Respect. But make way for the privilege it enabled and shut the fuck up. Your window has passed.

Is this “sponsored content”? If so, respect. If not, you should get paid.

Is this “sponsored content”?

Known introvert here. I lived with roommates for six or seven years before realizing that I needed to have my own space. You are not a bitch. It is ok to ask for what you need. Prevailing cultural attitudes always (yes) favor the extrovert mentality, so start watching out for that, and look for ways to stand up for…

Actually loled. Misspellings are on fleek. Only species more despicable than tip-swiping managers are tip-swiping owners. I worked for one. But those managers and their dress shirts and ties that will never see a jacket. Shudders.

In what other customer-purveyor situation do customers feel so empowered to employ the act of stealing labor as a “teachable moment” to demonstrate their allegiance to Ayn Rand’s bootstraps?

This is not advice for the suicidal, but I often have to imagine a very vivid and realistic death scene for myself and it elicits my desire to stay alive, which is based on humor, irony, humility and animals. Just watched Love and Mercy, biopic about Brian Wilson, and it’s a very definitive It Gets Better story, and…

Omg I'm not alone.

So I was training show horses in Florida one winter, as we all do. I was pretty isolated when the boss wasn't in town staying in the shared house, so I decided to make brownies. I ate like half a pound and ended up in fetal next to the toilet for several hours, frozen in place, terrified that boss was going to show…

I think the general rule is tip according to regular price. But sometimes restaurants make that unknowable. Ask your server maybe?I have seen some places show the regular price to the tab during happy hours for that purpose.