I feel like the priest with the coupons may have been reenacting the Feeding of the Multitudes where Jesus just keeps pulling loaves and fishes out of a basket (bucket) in a sort of All You Can Eat Lobsterfest-esque bible miracle. Or maybe he was a dick with a priest Halloween costume and a printer.

“Frat boy Jeffrey Dahmer” is the scariest thing ever written. I need to take a shower.

I think you're right, I was reading this as referring to the 3/5 compromise. Good clarification.

Huckabee has that smug pastor tone, like he’s so fucking confident in his positions because he knows his religion and politics allow for as much logical and historical gymnastics as needed to validate his agenda.

Ok, fucking asshole law enforcement leadership notwithstanding, can we lobby someone like Elizabeth Holmes of Theranos to develop a cheap no nonsense test to supplant the current rape kit? I mean even put the testing itself in the hands of the victims???? Please????

Aaahhhh so true. I think you’re being generous though. There are how many variations of the English accent and American actresses always end up doing a strange mashup that doesn’t even exist in real life.

I think this is okay. They feel marginalized, and they will fight it, but this behavior clearly demonstrates aversion to minority status, so I’m guessing they’ll continue to isolate and concentrate themselves into pockets. Like Mormons maybe. Eventually the greater sect will devolve back into little bottleneck cults…

Tell me more about your feelings. I'm not sure why clouds and teeth are racist.

Jeally. Beats slaving over a hot stove making latkes to go with the sauerbraten, followed by forced prayer to the baby Jeezzus (read in Jeremy Clarkson’s voice) pretending great-grandma didn’t convert to Protestantism to escape the war.

I hated Ashley I. by the end of Bachelor but she has become like this loveable little sis who doesn’t know any better and just leads with her honest emotions. I did that with a dude I was cuckoo for in my early 20s and now I wish someone had locked me up in a tower. I thought I was being ballsy like Ashley with the…

For me the appeal of a cock in the mouth is 100 percent correlated with my true feelings toward the owner of the cock. Best test. It can be the most appalling disgusting wretched horror or totally hot. Rarely is it totally hot. Consider girlfriend might not be that into you if she doesn't want to. And it's really not…

“a fucking island that’s always cloudy.” LOL best summary of the UK ever. Aside from The Land Orthodontia Forgot.

Cofounders:)

Never thought I’d see a lady truckin story here but glad to. I went to trucking school at 21 as a means for shoestring budget adventure. I guess the company I worked for was above board because it was three weeks training with separate men’s and women’s boarding areas and the instructors were salt of the earth blue…

Yeah the lack of self awareness is the kicker there...someone needs to bone up on current affairs and watch some documentaries. Arrrggghhh these men though! How? Why? Could this feeling be close to what black people feel when aholes say it’s a post racial world while waving a confederate flag and whining about how…

Yess that’s a tuffy, trying to avoid inadvertent insults. Like when asked if I’m married or have kids, I have to stifle my “God no, why?!?” face so I don’t offend people. My mom once said she was deeply offended (cried tears) that I didn’t want kids because it was her greatest desire/fulfillment in life so I was…

Ok I'm kind of dying to know your secret now... ??

Jesus H Christ the Starbucks guy. I was a coffee shop girl for years and there was this one dude who fancied himself an espresso connoisseur. He would come in and ask for a 30-second shot. I swear I could make that happen any other time, but with this douche standing right there staring at me holding his Russian novel…

I support this comprehensively, but as an adult child of a miserable diner, I must say that these people are de facto losing propositions, confrontation-wise. If I stood up to my dad every time he was rude or incredulous or whatever, I’d never have a family meal. It’s why we go to the same fucking white people-Mexican…

Fireball newb here. So is this the “cinnamon” flavor of Red Hots? Those lil red dot candies that burn a hole in your tongue? I feel like this would work well on a smoker’s palette. Although I can only imagine what that person’s breath could sear through after a night o cigs and synthetic cinnamon schnapps. Shudder…