It wouldn’t have been a problem if she’d been part of the highly respected and well-known monogrammed thermos industry instead.

but loves to sing “I Will Always Love You”

Is anyone else old enough to remember Polly Darton from Sesame Street? I think I was indoctrinated to love Dolly Parton since early childhood.

If your religious or “moral” views prevent you from providing service to a patient who doesn’t fit within your moral framework, you (1) have really shitty religious/“moral” beliefs and (2) should find a line of work that doesn’t require you to come into contact with people you find morally objectionable.

There’s got to be like a meme, or something, that we can use to make Lindsay stop, like attempting, to make this particular thing occur.

Couldn’t they embrace this and do a “throwback” mall—themed mall? With all the old stores you only got at malls, like Claire’s and Spencer’s and Sbarro’s? Bring back the sunken food court atrium and a Musicland straight out of Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Kids love the retro shit.

Back in my day, glitter nail polishes were $2 a pop, they were. And we were glad to have them! $5 got you a nail polish, a slice of cheese pizza, and pop, which is what we called it at the time. And you couldn’t reserve seats in the movie theater on your phone. We didn’t even have phones! Phones were the things in…

I was with you until the Journal mentioned street lamps. I mean, shit, what more proof do you need that these structures aren’t malls?! You can’t just put a street lamp any old place, you know.

Agreed. Cat eating is a total deal-breaker. But you’d also have to assume he’s cold and slimy, which... eh, maybe on a hot day it’d be ok?

Jason Momoa’s Aquaman is absolutely my preferred fish man fuck, but I would definitely do The Shape of Water fish man because life is short and I am not afraid of my inner monster fucker.

The cat-eating is a deal breaker.

Totes would bang the fish guy, but not at my house because Cat Singular would not abide. Cat Singular would think I brought her a large snack and proceed accordingly.

Tonya was definitely a victim of sexist double standards long before the attack. She was rough around the edges, and she was downgraded for it as opposed to being ranked on her sport, but NFL players can do drugs, commit domestic abuse, get physically violent, and mouth off publicly and no one cares.

I LOVE that his reckless, stupid tweeting is being used against him. Love love love.

Any stories you may hear that involve me, shots of Jameson, something called “Foxy Boxing,” and falling into a fountain are most likely works of pure fiction.

As soon as you accept that first shot, you’re agreeing to take a trip down the road to white boy wasted that only ends with you sitting at your desk the next morning wearing Ray Bans indoors, guzzling a Pedialyte, and trying to ignore Ryan when he says, “Hey brah, I’m sorry if things got a little crazy last night.…

It is worth the time. I spend many, many hours there every year and every minute is a treasure. Jr. Penguin and I have at least 3 zoo days per year and they are my favorite days (plus the random days I spend there on my own - it’s like my church). Go on the weekends in the spring and fall (or every day in the summer)…

Yes to your last line. I fucking HATE people who want to sit back and “blow up the system” because it generally means they know they’re going to be OK and fuck the poor slobs on the bottom who will suffer the most. There’s nothing “progressive” about that.