Middle schoolers are THE WORST. Take it from someone who spent her tween years with something called a Herbst appliance. Similar size and material as your average appliance, except it goes in your mouth, not your kitchen. They called me "vampire". This was before vampires were cool.

I want to get famous just so my 13-year-old sister can be famous by-proxy and get tweeted at by Harry Styles. She'd just love that.

It seems like there's a thriving population of clutch carriers out there, maybe it's me. It probably is me, I'm frequently the girl who shows up at the bar on Sunday morning to close last night's tab...probably not the clutch's prime demographic.

You wear a dress that's super tight, put fashion tape on your dirty pillows, and stick them to said tight dress an inch or two higher than they would hit sans tape. I've done this before, it's effective but very uncomfortable, and you have a strong urge to readjust the girls in inappropriate settings.

YES. I thought of this the minute I read the headline.

Cute! I like clutches with the option to wear it with a strap. You can look fashionable in the beginning of the night but not leave it somewhere after you've had a few drinks.

I envy your ability to keep track of things that aren't strapped to your body. After I lost my second clutch I gave up and attached shoulder straps to my remaining ones.

The clutch: so beautiful, so very, very impractical. Are you a non-celebrity who carries clutches in real life? Comment so I know you exist.

Paula, your career is OVER. Deal with it.

Thank you for sharing this. It is a thing of beauty.

My borscht is hot, flavorful, well-seasoned, and delicious. It's also spiked with liquor. And Poutine, how could that ever be bad? What did fries smothered in gravy ever do to you?

All of the major Judeo-Christian religions are highly political. Look at the political influence of the Catholic Church, look at Zionism. Islam is a religion in it's infancy. It could be argued that the Arab Spring is the equivalent to the Enlightenment for the Arab world, it's just happening much later, as Islam cam…

The same way I explain the Crusades: religious extremism leads to violence, and violence leads to more religious extremism. I am not arguing that horrible acts haven't been committed in the name of Islam, I'm arguing that the claim that violence and extremism are problems unique to Islam is a fallacious one.

The other commenter brought them up, I responded. There have been few because of our strong government and the state of our society, not because there is any less vitriol in the doctrine of Christianity than there is in Islam. That is the only point I am trying to make.

There is just as much endorsement of violence in the Old Testament as there is in the Koran. I am not knowledgable enough about Hinduism to speak on it specifically (Although I do happen to remember Kali, goddess of war, wore a necklace of human skulls), and there are definitely religions that have less violence and…

Aww thanks. Photoshop and I had some extra time on our hands when we read last night's article.

I love you Steve! I hate you other Steve!

Ooh I have a thing for this!

Your boyfriend's sister sounds rad, and I thoroughly enjoyed the Privilege & Lack of Perspective Monthly graphic she made that's on her blog. When I read that, I literally LOL'd. I think the Jezzies could help come up with some pretty amazing headlines for future (fake) issues.

I'm glad we can agree that the tragic descent into extremism that has been experienced by certain factions of the Muslim world is a result of the unrest, violence, and instability of the regions in which they exist, and not some unique defect of Islamic ideology.