I think those of us who have never been pregnant and suspect we would hate every second of it really felt for her when she was knocked up. She didn't seem to have an easy time of it.

I never comment, but now is my moment to shine, or whatever. Had I been born a boy, I would have been named Joe Jr. after my dad. My dad's name isn't Joe but it is Jose, and he's already a junior. He also has a son from a previous relationship whose name is Joe Jr. For girl names my mom went back and forth, one of the…

I recommend making a white sauce/roux with butter and flour and milk, and then melting Velveeta into it, and finishing with either Tapatio or Cholula. If you have some chipotle adobo sauce, add a bit of that too.

If anyone was wondering why they call her one of the most beautiful women in the world.

She looks ok.

As a germophobe, not washing jeans is disgusting to me and I don't care what anyone says. Clothing that comes near your crotch and ass needs to be washed. I mean really! Plus, you sit down on theater seats, bus seats, etc., that studies have shown are covered with E. coli, fecal coliform, and other biological hazards.

When I was working minimum wage and living in a house with 4 other guys I definitely couldn't ever avoid washing my jeans. 2 weeks of daily wear and they get funky. And in a house with 4 other people you don't have room in your freezer (Jaeger bombs on demand to give you an idea of what this house was like) and you…

Does anyone else get a rip in their jeans, right below the butt crease going in towards the chub-rub zone? My jeans never last because I always get rips. Then I patch them and they rip again. I'm not wearing them too small, either.

EUGH. THIGHS.

So excited to see my secret husband Henry Rollins on there. Too bad you missed my other secret husband, Chris Hardwick. A threesome with those two would be like a sexy nerdy sandwich wrapped in self-aware tattooed bread. Also, I'm drunk.

I'm sorry, you guys, but I hate Peeta...so, so much...I find myself hoping he'll die just so I don't have to hear Katniss yell "PEETA!!!" one more time as the plot is put on hold for her to save him. He is ever so useless, which would be forgivable if he weren't also ever so bland. He's like if boiled celery were a…

I have this theory that Louis CK is fantastic in bed and goes down like a champ. Did I just say that out loud ?

Um, for starters, Kanye loves Kanye? I mean do your research.

This is the finest most comprehensive list I've ever had the pleasure of reading. Bless this.

Maybe they're rushing the proposal because they're worried her uterus is getting...

I like how he talks about working "9 hours a day, 5 days a week" as if it's an ungodly amount. And what is his job driving around in someone else's car? Drug mule?

I'm gay but she's honestly quite adorable and sexy. PoutyRihanna is my fave.

Oh no. Oh NO. This is going to be Jezebel's Malaysian airplane, isn't it?

Not gonna lie — I've gone to Steak'n'Shake countless times for breakfast because I wanted a fucking cheeseburger and fries and not some rinky-dink biscuit sammich.

Don't even get me started on this! I still have people questioning how I can possibly get protein or B12 since I haven't eaten meat, dairy, or eggs in 7 years. They think that soy is going to make me grow breasts and start crying all the time.