SEMANTICS. It's more fun to come up with increasingly gross ways to talk about eggs. :D

I have. I have cut into many over-easy eggs. It's beautiful, watching the yolk spread across your plate.

Noooooooope.

I'm sorry you have such terrible taste in how you eat your dead bird fetuses. :P

I want to make sure that egg is DEAD. DEAD, I tell you.

It's where they shame the entire bird kingdom by cooking eggs so that the yolks are gooshy. Yolks should not be gooshy. Can you imagine how pissed a chicken would be if they laid an egg only for it to be served in such an offensive manner?

OMG THERE WAS A GIRL IN MY CAPSTONE CLASS WHO BROUGHT A GIANT TOENAIL CLIPPER TO CLASS AND SAT THERE PLACIDLY CLIPPING HER CLAWS (FINGER CLAWS NOT TOE TALONS) IN THE MIDDLE OF LECTURE.

I just want them cooked. No oozing baby chicken on my plate.

I don't care how they come out, I just want them cooked all the way through. None of this liquid chicken floating around on my plate, sullying perfectly good food.

I want good fresh spring veggies. Mmmmm. Last spring in Michigan I found delicate little sunflower sprouts and garlic scapes and it was heaven.

My dad and I hang out nearly every Saturday, and it's basically several hours of us driving around, shopping and him telling me stories about work or whatever he's learned about that week. Luckily, he's a very entertaining storyteller

EGG WAR CONTRIBUTION:

I was once sitting in the library at my old community college, doing some homework. There was a guy sitting a few tables over from me, diligently working on his own homework. I happened to look up, and he had paused in his work, kinda staring off into space. As I watched, he picked up his calculator and very…

I had never heard of dol sot bi bim bap and had to look it up. That looks delicious.

There is something deeply satisfying about a good hustle like that. I will similarly always remember the first weekend that our short-order weekend menu went live my last semester working for dining services—I was doing all the sandwich/burger prep (and passing them down the line to the panini presses, or throwing…

My dad also does this. I just let him go and occasionally keep track of topics that he tells me to remember so he can remember to tell me about them.

I just scrolled up to look at it and let out an absolute hag cackle.

Studying American Evangelism sounds like a fascinating area of academia. Tell us more. I am legit curious.

Awwww, bless their hearts. It's like they wanted to get caught being dickweasels.