IS IT CHRISTOPHER PIKE

"Jungle Girl" is clearly trying to be Katy Perry from "Roar."

And I'm tired of rich people (minority) running this country too.

Was talking dirty to Mr. Hot on the phone late one night...and talking wasn't enough. Headed out for the 45 minute drive to his house. In a very dark area on a country road I hit a moose with my car. Totalled the car. When the state trooper arrived, he let me use his phone to call Mr. Hot, who came and picked me up,…

I did anything and everything in the world to sex up my first love (first love is real life vampire love I always say) despite our parents' best efforts. At first it was easy because they worked full time. Take advantage of a half day, ditch a couple classes here and there, NBD.

Clowns. My best story involves a lot of clowns.

I mean, I have other stories. Honorable mention goes to the time I had sex on the 5th floor of a hotel's glass-walled staircase in plain view of the street below because we couldn't afford to get a room in said hotel, and the time I swam out to the center of Walden Pond…

So, Jezebel Meetup at Riposo 72?

To be fair, Biscuitville is awesome and totally worth consideration as a highlight.

He does! After seeing the movie he still came to my friend's party the same night and watched me tell jokes.

IS THAT OUR FLAG? WE HAVE A PRETTY FLAG.

Though I think a photoshop expert would be more helpful in this than me, the issue would be one of placement. Most implants are placed under muscle flaps (of which we only have two, one on each side) or in space that already houses breast tissue (again, only 2 of those. At most) . So a space would need to be made over…

Well, I think even completely tiny boobs have some room for an implant, but the sternum is a pretty small area with kind of taut skin. I imagine putting an implant in there would be like having a sports bra type uni-boob, but like under your skin....

I'm going with "not real." I admit I don't really know plastic surgery works, but there's like not enough skin between boobs to accommodate a (relatively) big implant, much less make it look like an actual boob. Right?

Nobody puts Baby on the floor.

As soon as the cat on the video starting screaming I heard a thundering horde coming down the stairs, apparently two of my cats immediately had to come see what the problem was. They are looking out the windows right now.

Both of my dogs are now barking at my computer...

So, some of you may have little bits of this already.

I mentioned some of this on another article recently. And this is really more of a full scale pregnancy horror, story, but here goes. So, it took me 3 years to get pregnant with my son. That included the indignity of a plethora of infertility tests and treatments. I ended up getting pregnant while we were on a short…

I don't know if this is a horror story, but it's definitely the most embarrassing part.

So first: I don't think labor was a nightmare. I had a natural birth at a freestanding birth center. I did hypnosis. I had a doula who did all kinds of weird shit to get me through. I got to labor in a jacuzzi. It worked for me and…

Well, neither story is mine (I have no kids), but I'll share them anyway.