Of course Miss New York thinks Miss America is large... she hasn't mastered the turtle quite as expertly (or is it expert if it's so very obvious?)

I'm going to take a wild stab and say that the research referenced in the quote (the one with the sensors attached to penises) significantly under reports male arousal. If the control was well-done, maybe this didn't affect the results, but man, having a wired penis would definitely change the way one would react to…

I can't really watch her show because the snobbery of "good butter" drives me up the wall. No, really, I like to use the shitty butter, thanks.

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut, what about those delightful dancing cell phones and buckets of popcorn? Do we just ignore them??? Social rule ignored and the resulting anarchy... Disney really IS the anti-christ, isn't it?

there was even a name for it... I don't remember what it was now (thank goodness for small favors), but it was definitely A Thing for a minute. "Milk Jugging" or something like that.

In my world, an "experiment" has to have an "objective." What are these dudebros trying to do with this? Prove that we are actually ok with assault because we giggled?

I like this. It's much more honest than most celebrity cookbooks (side-eyes Gwyneth Paltrow and Ina Garten)

OMG LOL YES

Today is like "TRL for grownups."

God doesn't want them to spend time learning satanistic things like "art" and "draughtsmanship"

It looks to me like Precious Moments recycled the firefighter figure from Oklahoma City for 9/11, just swapping out the bundle he's holding. Which is so far beyond pathetic, it almost make me mad.

LOL, the coke machine threw me off a bit, but I immediately thought "McDonalds!" when I saw that tile. They have scary-effective branding.

Oh sweet lord of spaghetti, not only do I think you're right, but that means the assholes at Precious Moments RE-USED their model of a crying fireman when 9/11 happened. They were all like, "let's just save some money and put something different in his hands." Terrorism = Crying Fireman to the karing kristians at…

LOL. I think I have that figurine somewhere in a box in my childhood home. It may or may yes be missing an arm.

Thomas "Painter of Light" Kinkade can choke on his collectible christmas village shit. People like him (he has a factory where underpaid artists make all his stuff... even when he was selling "original" work) deserve a specially-designed hell. Like his might consist of having to live in the home of a collector of his…

I once worked Christmas Eve, and some guy came in and bought every single present for every family member from the store. I had to wrap up so many lame, dusty, horrible presents that night, I forever have a low bar for thoughtfulness.

OMG, Precious Moments, I hate you with a burning, consuming passion. One of my early jobs as a teen was in a Hallmark store, surrounded by these little bastards. They had to be individually dusted and the stupid glass shelves windexed every week...

The only way I could stomach this movie is if it's done as a Scary Movie style satire/slapstick. Then they might be on to something. But there is seriously very few words unsexier than "sperm."

I'm 70% of the way through Gone Girl, so I don't know what to think about this, but I'm pretty sure it's a convoluted plot to frame someone. Maybe a bear.

I always thought Bruce Lee never got the credit he deserved for his acting chops.