OMG, Drunk Space Camp is the best!

Please please please can I be unfuckable to this guy? I want to guaran-fucking-tee my "hoo-haa" is never ever in the same zip code as this asshat.

I think they were saying they were reducing the hours of some of their full-time non-management staff, and the number of affected employees amounts to less than 1% of their overall staff size (30,000).

AAaaand... every time the phone rings, I WILL answer it, " 'ell-O!"

So So disappointed JC isn't actually a member of this girl group via elective surgery. HOPES DASHED, JEZEBEL. hopes dashed.

Meh, it's just a zero, right?

The Math Bandit understands how hard math is

I think people were mislead (somewhat) by all the references to health care coverage in the letter. The true upshot of this is 300 employees (check yo math, jez... 1% of 30,000 is not 3,000) are having their hours cut, which has the side benefit of reducing the company's health care costs.

The company was started by a deeply Christian Asian-American couple. So you're not completely wrong. They emigrated from Korea in 1981.

I don't know, yours is way more fun to look at. I mean, kale chips are sexy and all, but what kind of six-pack can they have?

actually labeled "ranchier"

I worked with a research rat who bit me once (it was a rat who ran mazes, so it's not like I was hurting it), so I can see how that would put you off. I'll never have a rat as a pet.

I've always wondered if they make good pets... Are they as friendly and cuddly as they appear?

Jay Z looks like he just discovered a miniature family of gnomes living in the back of his wife's hair. And the gnomes are listening to Harry Belafonte.

NOOOoooOOOOooo... not the hedgehogs!

Mr BerkRie needs that shirt. Thanks for the present idea!

I don't know about other people (because I'm not other people, mainly), but when I see a jackass going off at the security folks or bitching to others in line, I already think they're an asshole. I travel a ton, and I've had some pretty dumb things re-run through the machine (usually only on one leg of the trip), and…

IKR? the repetition makes it so much better.