Peasant shaped? More like PLEASANT shaped, amirite? ; )

They lost me years ago when I grew an ass. And boobs.

The last time I was in a Levi's store—about 2012, I think—I tried on a cute denim shirt in size XL and the damn thing wouldn't even button across my chest. To put that in context for you, I wear a size 12 and am 5'10". When I approached a Levi's store employee in…

Yeah—this seems to be one of those stock phrases from the Misogynist Handbook. I got the same line from a random guy in a German grocery store a few years ago (i.e., "You aren't worth raping"). Like Bolsonoro, Herr Rando thought that was an appropriate response to a woman challenging his position—although in my case,…

How do you apply it so it doesn't look like white powder in your hair? I need the deets!

That is a fantastic point. Thank you so much for articulating that so concisely and clearly. It's especially relevant to the people who tell themselves "well, my partner doesn't hit me, so what's happening in our relationship is not domestic violence." Or abusers who say to themselves and others, by way of…

My theory: it has something to do with the fragility of unearned and unjust privilege. The more fragile your sense of domination or superiority, the harder you're going to fight to protect it, and the more alert you'll be to the slightest perceived "threat" to your position.

Darn right about the "God" thing. No delusions of persecution would be complete without invocation of the deity.
How should the bingo square be labeled? "Because God" or maybe "My cross to bear"?

When I was in a support group for survivors of domestic violence, which brought together women from many walks of life, we were routinely stunned to discover that our abusers—who were an equally diverse lot—not only used identical tactics on us, but often used identical turns of phrase. The abusers in question ranged…

Thank you so much for these links! To be a bit more specific, I'm curious as to whether there's a "profile" of mothers who are liable to betray their children in order to keep a relationship with a man who abuses them.
It sounds from the summaries you've posted that research may be focused on adult-child interactions…

Does anyone know whether there have been systematic studies of women like Mama June who choose their child's molester (or other abusers) over the child him- or herself? I'd really like to understand more about their psychology and their motives. How do they justify this to themselves?

I've searched for this on Google…

"...a student cooing to his would-be hookup partner that he wants to, 'eat him like a Hershey kiss'."
This made me recoil from the screen with an overwhelming sense of what-the-fuckness. Insta-revulsion.
The only upside that I can take from this is that these examples (the "boo" thing, the hair-touching, and this…

Dear Maya Ivanova, are you capable of responding in a civil way to any disagreement? That is, without relying on the f-bombs, the description of differing opinions as "your bullshit," and so forth? From your responses to me and to Ammari, it appears not.

You haven't been attacked personally—just asked to defend your…

Same exact scenario here. When I'm out in public with my still-beautiful, former-model mother, people still ask her—within my earshot—if I'm adopted. I'm in my 40s! Way harsh.

Mayamaya, people may disagree with you for reasons other than ignorance. This is one of those times.

In reality, I disagree with you because I am informed about the Mosuo, having visited their villages in 2012 and done professional research—I am a professor of anthropology—on theirs and other forms of matriarchal…

Nope. Women are free to leave, and at least one traveled the world and became an international best-selling author. I highly recommend her book, which gives lots more detail on the lived experience of Mosuo women:
http://www.amazon.com/Leaving-Mother…

Can you show where in the essay this culture is portrayed as being "savage"?
There's nothing demeaning to the Mosuo or reductive of them that I can see.
I come away from this piece sincerely thinking that the Mosuo's social organization is ingenious. Separating romantic love and sex from child-rearing makes sense on…

Well, that rather neatly absolved that co-worker of yours of any responsibility—to think, to empathize or to act. I obviously don't know the guy, but having met people with similar reactions, my theory is that their attitude stems from laziness: not wanting to make the effort to understand, or to put themselves in…

When I was in a group for women DV survivors, women who had been stabbed and beaten within an inch of their lives repeatedly said that the emotional abuse they experienced was worse than the physical violence. I attribute this in part to the lack of social support: most people agree that it's abusive for one partner…

Yes. I want to send the Hyland story to all the smug people in my FB feed who were all like "why do abused women lack the courage to leave? durdurdurrrr!" To which I replied, "because when they try to leave, the men hunt them down and kill them, and often kill their loved ones as well." I stated it clearly, I provided…

CBS. Probably shouldn't say more lest I blow my own cover...do you know how to PM someone on this godforsaken Kinja thingy? I've tried to figure it out, but can't.