The new color rush uniforms are weird

He really fucked those throws right in the pussy. 

Jameis said the craziest thing about playing in London is that you assault Uber drivers on the other side of the road!

I wish your shithead executives would let you and your readers publicly mourn Splinter. It is missed.

Man I hope you’re keeping that Frank Francisco jersey in some sort of stable, climate-controlled environment. You’ll be retiring off that one someday.

You think he is distracted now, wait till he sees the guy that followed her out.

Sorry, I was out of line. I now realize those little bits at the bottom of the box can be grist for the general mills.

Glasnow picked the worst possible time to adopt glasnost.

Miller’s one of those people that shit his bed so hard on 9/11 that he lost his mind.

Are we sure Jim Spanfeller wasn’t behind the wheel?

It’s not like Morey destroyed the Rockets.

Alex Smith

Dude, get off his mannschaft.

5am? My Lord that’s early. I can just picture Snyder there in his office, across from a barely awake Gruden, stirring his coffee with a sleeve of gatorade cups.

I shall invent a device that alerts Dolphins fans when they are being erroneously charged for purchases. It will emit a Dolphin-call shriek if a skimmer is used to rack up a fraudulent charge. I will call it “the Miami Sound Machine.”

I was gonna suck my thumb, but I got high

Are we sure that’s not just a member of the Gase clan?

Another wonderful danger zone was the water for the tarzan swing and cannonball slide (not the loop one).  The water was set back from the main area and surrounded by trees so it never got direct sunlight.  So you’d slide or swing into shockingly cold water.