The actuarial tables still don’t merit banning Muslims, sorry. Still way to many “real” Americans like Roof, Lanza and that MRA twerp in Santa Barbara out in front.

Is it possible Fatemah can do both or nah

Only fundamentalists get to have a moral compass? Is there only one kind?

Trump supporters sowed a whirlwind, and now they can reap it.

“Black people use the n-word so why can’t we”

Branding (to minimalize futility, justify future obsolescent innovation, or destabilize a regime, say) is one of our top 5 exports, right after blue jeans, rock-n-roll, instruments of death and diabetes.

Nevermind Clinton’s states, Trump seems to want a national recount. Let’s oblige.

Now that you’ve introduced us and we’ve fallen in love, I give her two weeks because 2016 fucking hates us.

You think it’s hard to find good help in the city- the rural labor pool must be a nightmare.

Where once working-class people had partied in the street, according to The Atlantic, Christmas was rebooted into a cozy domestic affair.

I feel like I would opt for “reason with” and “beg” somewhere in between steps 2 & 3.

That hotheadedness will serve them well when it’s finally their turn to shoot a perp in a crowd. It’ll be just like the movies.

This presidency may turn out to be a disaster for the country, and an embarrassment to the world, but it’s going to be a fantastic telenovela.

It almost feels like he telegraphs the opposite outcome, setting himself up as the victim while knowing full well what’s in the offing. I know how that sounds, but is very difficult to not be paranoid.

It has a V in the face. It’s not personal.

Can I include the price of a SASE? Forever stamps are only like 47 cents, I’ll add a dollar for the effort.

Who’s going to pay for all that prosecuting when we’re trying to drown government in a bathtub? Or drain the swamp, or whatever this decade’s conservative quixotic metaphor is.

Sorry, no can do- I missed out on sending a dildo to those dumbshit freedumb rustlers in Oregon, I ain’t passin’ this one up.

That was probably just some old-timey Kinja maintenance, I reckon. I wonder if they kept the Hugarian mechanics from before the sale- they must’ve been thrown in with the package. Who else knows how to tinker under its specialized hood? These sites have always been like trying to repair an airplane in midflight.…

At least with James Brown we knew it was part of the act.