Also not fucking: People who play laser tag.

Say it with me. "The Havana Cuban Rays."

Look, above your head! It's a joke!

I'd rather fuckin' work at McDonald's than work in front of those guys (SE and his circle). Not that there is anything bad about working at McDonald's.

They need someone on staff who speaks English first.

I have hard time believing that the Jets could ever be confused with favorites.

Judging by his roster, the poor guy is unfamiliar with the entire concept of stars.

From what I remember about Friedel, it seems irresponsible to suggest he could successfully block anything.

Go find a three story window and jump out of it. We'll be sure to refer to you as Matt. Example: "Thank god that Matt guy jumped." Does that work for you?

your BS radar goes up when you are called by your given name from someone that does not know you as well as a friend or family member does

Psst: this article isn't about you, and no one gives a single solitary fuck about how you "feel."

Asshole.

Eat a sack of dicks, Matthew.

Yeah. They shouldn't have said anything at all. Would that have been a better PR move?

How could you not love Milito? That "Yo Adrian" line? Classic.

Fucking Christ. Shut the fuck up.

That's very funny, because all cops are bad, right?

"To clarify, I utterly respect and appreciate every police officer that protects and serves all of us with honesty, integrity and the right way. And I don't think those kind of officers should be offended by what I did."

I'm sure that officer understands, wherever he is.

Ways to spell Chris, Ranked.

BONUS COVERAGE "Male party that's been sitting underneath a tree for the past 20 minutes, not moving."