No, his service is for people that don’t want to deal with all of the bullshit that comes with shopping and negotiating for a car - they want to show up, sign a piece of paper, and drive away.

Not all of us have a garage, tools, or time to fix all the problems ourselves. Plus when I need to get to work, I cannot spend time futzing with the third failed attempt to fix the issue.

You can love a thing, be enthusiastic about it, and write well about it but find it inconvenient or find a lack of desire or ability to do basic things with it, especially if it’s your appliance.

Foodies are enthusiastic about food, but many don’t like dealing with the dishes that come with cooking their own.

Yeah, why in the world are there so many people who enjoy driving but don’t enjoy this other thing that is not driving? Perhaps we’ll never know.

I don’t really know much about Yu-Gi-Oh, I’m just doing what little I can to drive up the click and engagement counts so Alanis can tell both Ballaban and PG that she told them so.

Why does it take having someone about to leave for us to get an article like this. This is the kind of shizz we need every freaking day.

I think some of the side villains need to be mentioned, to note that Bandit Keith would drive a Ford Raptor, because it’s the most American truck.

Well he did actually buy a Ferrari!

Alanis, if there was ever a way to say goodbye, this is it. May the Heart of the Cards always be with you.

“Juxtapose this against the ridiculous $3.7 million price pulled down by the ratty 1968 Mustang GT from the movie ‘Bullitt’ and maybe you’ll understand why I’m pissed about it.”

Yeah, true. It’d also be pretty cool if children in the richest country on earth didn’t go to bed hungry or had access to healthcare.

“I made the biggest mistake you can make in motorsports. I borrowed money to go racing,”

I can see Mecum doing the ole “This will bring a fortune, Danny. It’ll make a mint. We’ll put it in the circular, get some press, and it will go for millions. Just list it with us and sit back and collect the check (minus our 20%, of course).

Bradley, I dig the enthusiasm, but regardless of the car in question, when it comes to Bonneville, you don’t simply go rip a new record.

Is it a bummer for Danny, no doubt. It’s a great story, but at the end of the day it’s an old race car. Unfortunately, it probably would have gone for just as much before Danny finished what his father had wanted to do. Mickey Thompson’s barnfind streamliner is probably more marketable from a historic perspective than…

Eh, I don’t tolerate herbs or fools well. The rest of the staff is still here, and I trust Jalopnik’s in good hands with them so long as they walk into work each day with a gallon full of Herb-B-Gon.

As soon as I read the headline I knew. Congrats and thanks for all the great comments, I always enjoy reading your comments. 

$kaycog is a national treasure who truly deserves this.