Miko....That’s....That’s not how birds work at all.

🎼 That explains my big ass head 🎼

Yup, there’s no way he’s McArthur’s Fellow, either.

You need weirder friends. My feed this time of year includes pictures of that elf either doing bad things or having bad things down to it. Here is one of my favorites.

Jeb is the Willy Loman of politics right now.

Overheard at the NFL QB Lounge:

He’s a 1980s re-enactor.

How’d you guys figure out which one of you would be the straight man?

EMCC are not acting like a bunch of Einsteins.

But they are homophobic the right way.

Duh. At that point you take out one of your balls.

“Um, we sent the Vikings to Mars forty years ago.”
-NASA

“You gotta make sure that chicken is fully cooked, or you’ll catch hermes complex!”

Where was your sister putting the bear so that your dog could get a hold of it?

Poland also has its own version of baseball, in which one entire team bats at once, the bases are out of bounds, and the field is shaped like a shtetl.

“Hold my mint tea and watch this”

He honestly thought turkeys could fly? Looks like a poorly executed ostrich race.

Now I’m going to write my screenplay about a grizzled old alcoholic who befriends a lesbian couple and makes a fortune gambling on the WNBA.