Well, we sure know he's not eating it like The New Deal, in which case he'd be ramming it down other fans' throats by the fistful, using his free hand to huff from a gasoline-soaked American flag, and standing with one jackbooted heel crushing the skull of a bald eagle while watching a platoon of Commie pinkos led by…

He was probably selling the cereal to this guy

"I HATE THIS FUCKING TEAM!!! ... Oh, here is good? Well thanks for choosing Uber and don't forget to leave a review."

How do you spell the noise he is making?

My grandmother was an incredible gardener and bird lover. Her whole property was covered in beautiful flowers, birdbaths and feeders, trees- you name it. As it were, this also created a natural hunting ground for her neighborhood's cats, who particularly enjoyed posting up underneath this thicket of ferns near a…

Why Your Contributor Sucks: Chris Fucking Kluwe

S-U-A! S-U-A!

Cut the dude some slack. He just won his dead pool.

ZODIAC MOTHERFUCKER had the best email (Lions).

Fox Sports: sheesh, Pam, lighten up.

"It's not whether you get knocked down, it's whether you get up. and if you get up then I will stab yo' ass again, bitch." - Ray Lewis

Who does Porter call to get his bags?

That joke explanation was a long arduous forced journey.

I can't really fault the Golf Channel for this. Live broadcasts are a real pressure-cooker.

"I can barely tell the difference between a Bills tailgate and a 1970s Manchester coal-plant union protest. "

I think a better solution would be instead of boards, have a ledge that players will fall over and then a Turtle on a cloud with a fishing pole rescues them and drops them back in the middle of the ice.

Fan, deep in thought: Did I leave the stove on? I think I left the stove on. Oh well. Who cares? Maybe the house'll burn down and he'll be in it. Serves that smart ass right. The attitude on that jerk. Where does he get off telling me I've got my head up my ass? Thinks he can boss me around. I'll show him. No one…

"Speaking of great in the sack.... tee hee."