"Do? Well, I've never watched a person asphyxiate before, so here's my chance."

It's good to know that state universities are corporations. Which are really, really good at determining how much monetary value each employee adds.

Your thumbs are incredibly fucked up.

Was there a drum solo in the music for the Anne Frank dance routine?

Oh, Clarkson will land a job soon. I heard they're looking for a lead for a live-action Mr. Potato-Head show.

When I die, I want my body to be dressed up as a clown, very nicely and convincingly, with make-up and all, and seated on a bench in a park with friendly balloons in my right hand.

If you take a way the free food, the cat might be better named "Snack."

10 points for on the ground, 100 if in the air.

Nice.

I think it is awful to fire Mr. Potato Head when he obviously trying to recover from alchohol and drug abuse.

Too late asshole.

If you go to college and you still need a "mom" of whatever kind, you should be euthanized humanely. So should all of your immediate family.

Ekstatischfreude!

You're fun.

The greatest!

On the basis these pictures, there should be a rape-charges betting pool.

Your balls aren't hidden if they haven't dropped yet, dudes.

"I would prefer not to."

\high five!

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