I have wanted this for so long.

I've spent a long time playing For Glory in Smash Bros.—that hardcore one-on-one mode with no items and flat stages. And while much of that playtime has been me getting my ass kicked, I can't help but keep coming back to it. Part of it is that, in my experience at least, the players in For Glory are very classy.

Stanced on ricewheels? I never want to see it again.

I'm 21, and I think the direction they're headed in is brilliant. The cars look spry and fun. It would obviously come down to a test drive, but there was a time when I wouldn't have even considered the idea of thinking about anything from GM.

I see that on the Germans.

But do you really want to pay anything for this big, fat line?

I'd actually say that this is the only time I've seen those headlights without hating them. Their melty design flows nicely with the shape of the front of the car, which is different from the usual 996, where they look like they were parked too close to a source of heat.

This is why I always assume SUV drivers are the worst ones. Good decision making wouldn't lead most people to buy them at all.

In this car's mega evolution, this whole top portion of the grille is about 1mm in height, while the rear haunch actually raises above the roofline of the car.

I do photography work for that dealer now and then; shall I grab you some better shots next time I'm there?

Only the weirdest, strangest, goat-talking crazy-eyed nut would want to wear one of these tasteless, horrible, morally offensive excuses for automotive curiosity the world has ever seen. (Note: Jalopnik's esteemed Editor-in-Chief, Matt Hardigree, said he would totally rock one of these.) ($12.99)

Pairs nicely with rectangular sunglasses and those doll things that people lean up on their restored American cars.

They look like the underside of a bottle cap.

Then it's settled. I'll never return to my birth state.

And still the worst possible wheels.

Why would someone write out a listing for a Ferrari in all caps? I'd almost look past it just for that.

It might be discontinued, becoming rare and coveted! $5000.

May we pray that it soon topples into a ditch, or gets impounded when it's found stuffed with meth.

Vape sticks serve two purposes: Helping you quit smoking, and enabling you to foof indoors so you can tell as many people as possible "uh no it's just vapors" while your sugar-reeking shitcloud helps you stand out as somebody who eats Monster Energy BFCs and Neff stickers.

It really does make you wonder what mental process makes the 50+ crowd decide these are good.