His step-back sword thrust is unlike any that you have ever seen.

“This Sunday, the garbage ass Forty Niners helmed by future quarterback training facility owner Blaine Gabbert will face the eternal tire fire of the Cleveland Browns, led by future “What happened to..” documentary subject Johnny Manziel!
Don’t miss a moment of this exciting turd smolder, as both teams push for draft…

Siamese Dream is the best album of the 90s, fight me.

Look out when they hire Kant to be the play by play guy:

Alright ladies, time to do some real math to check your answer.

“Which is true? The thing we saw, or the granular, artificially enhanced, retroactive display of what actually happened? And in a football game, what defines what’s true, if not the the necessarily limited and subjective knowledge of the officials who are specifically awarded the power to interpret observed actions…

THAT HAIL MARY PLAY I CALL IT THE DENTIST BECAUSE IT KILLED SOME LIONS FROM EXTREME LONG RANGE.

I mean, are we even sure McCown got hurt last night? That video could be old.

The difference would be the same as if a dog shit on your carpet versus your friend shitting on your carpet. The dog probably doesn’t know any better. Your friend is an asshole.

I ran the VIP door at a night club in Minneapolis during KG’s hay-day. Worked with pro athletes every day. No one was more polite, tipped better, or was more respectful than KG. Sadly, he was the one that went out the least. When he did, he would show up, pay for his teammates tables, and leave 30 minutes later. Never…

I work for a newspaper in Florida, and am a Pats fan, and wrote a similar column about this over the offseason. Pats fans should stop bitching and just accept the villain role. Play it up. When you whine you give everyone more ammunition. When you say, so what they have four Super Bowls, people don’t know how to…

Had to do some googling for this one—wooorth it! +1

Fortunate that we can pay you in stars on a piece work basis. USA!

Wait until you see what Dick Poppycock does with the special teams.

Ref: *blows whistle*

I’d go with Tom Foolery for Special Teams

I’m not even a sports fan and I enjoyed a lot of the articles I read at Grantland. It’s a damn shame but then ESPN had no business owning a literary site like that.

For when the One Sports Network comes

I don’t recall Satan impregnating his own, married mother after drowning an entire planet and murdering every first born in Egypt.

The Tenth Amendment reserved this right to the states, too bad he went to a city school instead of a state school