In principle, you’re absolutely right. Unfortunately, that’s a hard sell in this timeline, where sports has attached itself, remora-like, to the body of the university. I’d love to see a world where universities like my alma mater, Cal, are just forbidden statutorily from having sports teams that are anything other…

you monster

Can’t believe you forgot to mention Piazza’s partner in this venture, Jimmy McMillan.

elope with me, miss private

I think that only applies to the West All Star Team.

if they’re not eating ass at a tailgate, why even bother showing up

sorry but this beetle is actually pretty awesome

came here to make this joke

Maybe I’m missing something, but according to the quote that immediately follows, it actually sounds like Van Gundy does think that this rule is unfair and racist.

This is pretty obviously what happened; also Zaza does his best (which isn’t that great) to avoid falling on Russ, so if he’s actively trying to hurt him, he’s not doing a great job.

It’s not at all weird. Exerting upper-body force against another person doing the same is entirely different than being kicked on the inside of the knee. It’s not a “brush,” since Young is going to ground pretty fast. If someone kicked you on the inside of the knee, you’d go down no matter how big you were, arguably…

No! Those were about which teammates were fucking LeBron’s mom! Come on, have you forgotten all your Delonte West canon?!

I don’t actually care whether they’re fucking or not but I do appreciate that the ambiguity over whether they’re fucking has given people material to write funny posts about it.

brb naming a band “servebot praxis”

Don’t underestimate Japan when it comes to the scatological arts. In fact, according to one of Japan’s greatest authors, “the Japanese toilet is truly a place of spiritual repose,” so it’s clear that this is a nation that takes its pooping extremely seriously.

that’s not what hypocrisy is

Imagine starting that last run knowing you’ve already got the gold, and then going, “No, watch this.”

drogheda was a false flag

I would prefer not to.