What he said, so, no. Plus, the very existence of this condition would inevitably sour the relationship, so, no. Can you imagine when/if the relationship does go South and you’re like, “Motherfucker, I’ve been fucking a goddamned goat for you!”

This was my thought. I have no interest in knowing a goat that well, so I’d give up the first “soul mate” for the next one who is inevitably going to come into my life because, yes, my life is that awesome.

What I find most notable about this is you don’t necessarily regard dead deer fucking as an automatically divorcable offence.

I’m fairly sure I’d divorce my husband if I found out that he fucked an animal, dead or otherwise. Your sister seems to have a good head on her shoulders, at least in terms of her no bestiality policy.

I can practically smell their refusal to use deodorant wafting off my screen.

tl;dr: no, I wouldn’t fuck the goat, another lady (or fella) will be along soon

WRONG! I have a soulmate and no one can tell me any different.

You’re getting some sass here but you made a fair point.

Several inches. They’re long (longer than a typical human male’s) and skinny.

Oh, piss off. This isn’t about white people. This is about Goddamn HIPPIES! Get it right. They had sex on a bed in a van in front of the ocean during a sunset. Is there anything more hippie than this? Oh, wait, there is. Having a roll on a blanket covered in brightly colored flowers in their backyard and using petals…

Of course! IRL, if your hubby decides of his own free will to do the deed with a deer corpse, just because he wants to, that is your official red flag: your hubby is seriously messed up in the head, and you need to run for the hills.

On the other hand, I feel like my perfect spouse wouldn’t demand that I fuck a goat quarterly. Previously, I had never thought to put “doesn’t expect me to fuck farm animals” on my imaginary requirements for fantasy husbands, an oversight I shall shortly rectify...

and Instagram IS the only platform on the internet.

A better question is, “You just found out your true love has been fucking a goat every three months. Are they still your true love?”

Wait, once every three months? Nope.

You wouldn't?

There is no such thing as a soulmate, no person who ‘fits’ with you completely. People have flaws, and people change. The partner whose qualities you love now may evolve overtime, as we all do. The You in twenty years will be far different than the You today, and who’s to say that the relationship won’t sour as a…

i wouldn’t, knowing that on the spectrum of people there is a slightly less good person who i can be with without this baggage (lol ba-a-a-aggage get it)

Does the goat call afterwards?